In the Lyrics Read online

  Dusty’s mouth hovers above my ear as our bodies sway to the song’s slow tempo. “You like him, don’t ya? Like…like him like him, huh?”

  “I told him I loved him,” I admit.

  The hairs on my neck blow as Dusty smirks while letting out a long breath. “Well, damn, girl. I knew you fell, but I didn’t know how hard.”

  “It’s my fault. I’m sorry, D. I really am.” Giving his body a squeeze I continue, “At first I was so caught up in hating him and then in acting like I didn’t like him and trying not to, I think I kind of got preoccupied. I’m a horrible friend. It’s okay; you can tell me.”

  He stops moving and grabs my face in his. Glancing around the room, I can see a few pairs of eyes watching us. “You’re not a bad friend. I mean, hell, yeah, it sucks that we don’t get to kick it like we used to, but you have Colby and I have Trevor. One day we were bound to go our separate ways, either when we graduate or chase after our dream. Look at it like this – we’re both focusing more energy on people we like, but it doesn’t mean we care about one another any less.”

  He’s right, but it still sucks.

  “Stop frowning. You’re too beautiful to look sad, and you haven’t looked that way since we met him. That’s how I know it’s real. Well, that and he told me so.”

  Stop the clock, what the heck, they’ve talked about me?

  I’M HANGING ON by a thread. Air. I need air. And space. What is this girl doing? She’s begging for me to claim her. I thought she wanted to move slowly? Other than a couple of times when our roaming hands got the better of us, she’s never even indicated that she wanted more. My body, okay not my body, but my dick is throbbing. I either need to get home and take a cold shower or…fuck, what am I thinking? I’m not going to go home and screw her. She deserves something nicer than a quickie after dry humping in a bar all night. She deserves flowers and wine and everything sweet that I can muster up. Knowing she is in good hands, I allow myself a few extra minutes to clear my head.

  My mind wanders to Dusty’s and my conversation this morning. It started when he asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him. I’ve never really had a membership anywhere; I’ve always used the farm and its advantages to help keep me in shape, but he insisted we have some man time, so I went along.

  “Dude, are you going to spot me or stand there texting Hensley all morning?” Dusty barked as he sat on a black, leather weight bench.

  “My bad. Here.” Walking over to him, I stand behind him and slowly lower the bar. He lifts it a few times and then stands up. Sitting down in his spot, he lowers it for me and we do the same routine for several minutes.

  “So I feel like the dad in this situation, but we might need to talk about our girl Hensley and your intentions.”

  I laugh. “Okay, shoot.”

  “I know you’ve been getting closer, which can only mean she’s finally let that giant ass guard down and let you in, but she’s still fragile. She’s like a statue. From a distance it looks hard and unbreakable, but if you knock that puppy over, it’s liable to break into a million pieces.”

  “Seriously, how old are you? Hensley’s not going to get broken. I know that’s what you’re trying to insinuate. I like her. Scratch that, I love her. I am head over heels in love with her, man,” I say as I swallow. It sounds strange saying those three words out loud.

  “If you break her heart,” he shakes his head. “I don’t think you’re the type of man to play any dumb shit, but dude, if you do, I’m just warning you. I love her like she’s my sister, and no one messes with my family.”

  His words seem like a threat, but I know he’s just watching out for his best friend. I don’t blame him, and I also know where I stand in this little trio. They were best friends long before I came into the picture.

  “Dusty, listen, brother to brother, you have nothing to worry about. I don’t want to lay it all out there and sound like a pussy-whipped, little bitch, but it’s like I’m high on her. Her sweet perfume, her touch, her kisses, they’re all intoxicating, and I’ve never done a drug in my entire life, but damn if I’m not addicted to her. I’m not going to play her or break her heart. You’ve got to trust me, dude. She does, so cut me some slack.” I nudge him with my shoulder. Raising his hand he grabs mine and we shake. Nothing else is said. It doesn’t need to be.

  THE NIGHT’S COOL air brings me back to reality and dulls my lustful thoughts, and I open the door to go inside. Deciding to get us three some drinks, I walk towards the bar, but someone stops me.

  “Excuse me, fella.” Turning, I see two men who are decked out in their Sunday finest – the same men who nodded at me earlier.

  My feet stop in their tracks in front of them wondering who they are. “Yes, sir?” I answer.

  “I’m Michael Shannon and this is Robert Hampton. We’re from Smashtown Records. Do you have a moment to chat?”

  “Absolutely,” I say enthusiastically as I wonder what two people from a label are doing here.

  “We were in town for a meeting, and decided to stop by Mitch’s before heading out. I’m glad we did after what we just heard.”

  “Where are y’all from?”

  The man I was introduced to as Robert says, “Our label is located in Los Angeles.”

  Michael interrupts, “You’ve got raw talent, kid. We’re always pleased with the gigs Mitch has at his place, but tonight I’m really impressed. Don’t get me wrong…that little trio you have is good too, but you…you’re what this industry needs right now. Have you been contacted by anyone yet?”

  Opening my mouth to speak, I’m surprised that no words come out. I’m what this industry needs right now. “No, sir,” I finally say softly.

  “Lucky for us then, huh?” he pauses, “We’d love to hear more from you. Talk a little more about what you want out of your career. How about you take my card? Do a little thinking about whether music is something you really want to pursue, and then give me a buzz.”

  He pulls his card out of his pocket and hands it to me. We shake hands and then they walk away, leaving me with a million questions. Is music something I want to pursue? Hell yeah, it is! It’s why I moved here, and this, this is what I dream about. Someone noticing me, giving me a chance. Only it isn’t just me anymore. Hensley is a part of me; she’s taken up permanent residence in my heart.

  Shoving the card into my back pocket, I try and hide my excitement as I approach the bar.

  “And he’s back. You just couldn’t get enough of me, could ya?”

  I smile politely back at the redheaded bartender.

  “So I see ole Michael and Robert took a likin’ to ya. They’re big time, ya know,” she says with her hand on her hip.

  Looking over my shoulder, I spot Dusty and Hensley. They’re still dancing. I try to hide my excitement. “Yeah. I guess so. They gave me their card.”

  “Well, if that don’t deserve a shot, I don’t know what in the hell does. This one’s on me, baby!”

  Turning around, I see her grab a bottle of tequila and pour it to the rim of a clear shot glass, and then she fills up a second one.

  “One for you and one for me.” She smiles and has a seductive beam in her eye.

  Picking up the glass, I clink mine with hers and gently set it back down on the counter.

  “I don’t drink, but thanks for celebrating.”

  Walking away from the counter, it’s not that I’m trying to hide anything from Dusty or Hensley, but today’s been so great. I don’t want jealousy to mess things up. And I mean more than jealousy in a relationship. They’ve both been working towards the same goal too; we all three want the same thing – for someone to approach one of us and stuff their record label’s card in our pocket.

  With the lingering excitement of our performance running through our veins, we pack up our equipment and load up Hensley’s car. My mind is occupied with thoughts about telling them what happened, but I’m scared if I do, things will change between us. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel
about Hensley. She owns my heart now, especially after I told her all of my secrets. The bond we share is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Yes, music is my passion. It’s been my goal to be a professional performer since I can remember, but things change. Hensley is my passion now. Deciding to keep quiet about it, I reach over to the center console and grab Hensley’s hand. Her genuine smile means more to me than any card right now anyways.

  I LOVE COLBY Skylar Grant. Sometimes I think, no, I know, that people throw those three words around like a Frisbee nowadays. It’s like people are just looking for someone to say them to, when in all actuality they should be looking for someone that makes them feel like love is real. Like they can’t breathe without them. That’s how I know. Losing him would be the end of me. I’m giving him my heart and soul wrapped in a little bow. The only thing left I have to give is my virginity. But tonight I’m content with the headway we made. He knows I want him, so the ball’s now in his court. We all ride home in a comfortable silence, unload our stuff, and get ready for bed. There’s a weird vibe between Colby and I as we lay down for bed, and he kisses me goodnight. The sexual tension is unmistakable, and the ache in my core is growing day by day. Tonight’s obviously not the night. Colby tells me without words as he rolls over in bed and faces the wall. It better happen soon, or I might spontaneously combust from horniness.

  MY MOM HAD a cow when I told her about him. I had already prepared myself to get the wrath, so I knew it was coming, it doesn’t make it easier to hear though. Knowing I didn’t want to jump the gun, I waited until I was sure things were real between us. I knew in that moment at Mitch’s that the feelings I felt for him were genuine, and they were something more than like. But doubts about our relationship crept in and filled my head as my mom spoke, all I kept thinking about was how happy he makes me. How I laugh more, and feel alive for once. She said, “I knew it. I knew it from the moment that Logan’s momma called me. She told me ‘bout this fella and I denied her, ignoring her, saying that my baby girl knew that dating just wasn’t in the cards for her. Then you waltz in here, beaming from ear to ear and paint me out like a fool.”

  That wasn’t even the worst of it. Reminding me of what she gave up to raise me, she only made me resent her. Singing is a passion of mine, but it’s not my life. It doesn’t define me. Yes, getting signed somewhere would be a blessing. It’d sure help out with the bills and my dad’s medication to fight his cancer, but it wouldn’t love me back. Colby does.

  Deciding it is best to give her some time to digest my newfound relationship, I plan to stay at Dusty’s for a few days. I’m still pretty much there all the time, so it’s not a big deal. It was at first when I wasn’t sure what was going on between Colby and I. Being in the apartment so close to him when I was trying to fight my feelings towards him was really confusing. It was like him telling me about his brother just signified how much he cared about me, trusted me. Things have been great from that point forward, other than my mom trying to tempt me to break up with him at every turn. It’s a shame I can’t even invite my boyfriend over for dinner with my parents because I’m scared of what she will say.

  “ALRIGHT, YOU GOT it,” Colby says as he nods his head listening to me sing. “Okay, wait, your pitch is off slightly right there.” Sitting Indian-style in front of him on the floor, he leans over his guitar that’s resting in his lap and puts one of his hands on top of my stomach, and the other he wraps around me and presses into my back. “You have to make sure your posture and diaphragm are right. Now in unison, A-E-I-O-U.”

  “Ugh! I sound all nasally.” I frown. “Babe, I don’t know what’s going on. It’s like all of a sudden I suck. What if I have nodes?”

  “Sunshine, you don’t have nodes. Come on. You just have to work at it more. You’re naturally talented, but even the best need practice. The voice is an instrument inside your body. You just have to know how to use it. Control it. Become it.”

  I snicker under my breath, “Okay, ole wise one. Let’s practice.”

  “Again, A-E-I-O-U.” Closing my eyes, I open my mouth and repeat after him.

  “Did your jaw close on the vowels?”

  Rolling my eyes, I’ve had enough for today. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Music and singing is a passion, but practicing for five hours a day is not.

  “Screw the vowels. I’m tired and hungry.” I lean backwards on the floor and rest my body weight on my elbows. “Feed me,” I demand.

  Since that night at the bar we’ve been a little more carefree around one another. I even moved my stuff from Dusty’s room over to his. We sleep together every night anyways, so it just made sense. Plus Trevor has been staying over more, and I don’t want to intrude on them. After all it is November, we’ve all had long enough to get to know one another, and I can tell Dusty likes him. It’s so strange to think that this is our lives now. It’s just been Dusty and I against the world, and now it’s the fantastic four. Having a boyfriend is great, but having a boyfriend who is like another one of your best friends is heaven.

  Colby gets up and walks into the kitchen. “What do you want, the usual?”

  “Yes, please!” I laugh. He knows how much I love grilled cheese with pickles on it. Dusty was making it for me one day after work, and Colby busted my chops for days saying how gross that combination is. Until one day I scolded him for knocking it before trying it. He took a little bite of mine, and fell in love. Since then whenever he makes himself one, he’ll make me one too.

  “So I was thinking,” he says as he bends into the refrigerator and grabs the tub of butter. “Fall break is right around the corner, and my parents want me to come home. I know we haven’t really talked much about the holidays, but it would mean a lot to me if you could come with me.”

  You’d think he was proposing by the look on his face, like he just asked me the most important question in the world. I guess to him it is. Bringing someone home to meet your parents is always a big deal, but bringing someone home to meet your deceased little brother is a bigger deal. My mom and I haven’t really been speaking much. She’s mad that I have a boyfriend, and I’d rather just ignore her than suffer staying under the same roof and listening to her mouth all the time. My ultimate goal is still to become a singer, she just doesn’t see that and thinks I’ve been blinded by love. Yes, I adore Colby and what we have, but I still aspire to accomplish the same things. So I doubt she would even miss me this Thanksgiving. And Dad, well, he’s probably going to be drowning out Mom with alcohol.

  “Really? Are you sure?” I ask while pouring a soda into my glass.

  “What do you mean am I sure? I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure. I think it’s time for us to take the next step. After all, we are kind of working backwards. Ya know, the whole living together before even dating thing.”

  He has a point.

  “All right. I’ll go, but only if you promise it’s okay. I know how important this holiday is for you and your family. The last thing I want to do is bother anyone.”

  “Shut up and come here and kiss me. You just made me the happiest man alive!”

  Walking over towards the stove where Colby is standing, he wraps his arms around the tops of my shoulders. Our faces are directly in front of one anothers and I feel his nose brush against mine.

  “I love you, Hensley,” he whispers in that low seductive tone that he’s recently mastered.

  I don’t have time to say it back before his mouth collides with mine. We’ve become expert kissers, since that is basically all we do. I don’t know if I need to beg him to have sex with me or what, but my patience is wearing thin. Dusty told me that Colby was scared that he was pushing me into it. I don’t know what ever gave him that impression. I’m practically sitting day and night with a ‘Fuck Me’ sign on my chest. Whatever the reason he feels that way, I know I have to take this into my own hands. I love him, he loves me. There’s no reason we shouldn’t be having jaw-dropping, heart-pounding, amazing sex every day.

  Moving
my hand up, I hold my finger in front of his mouth.

  “My grilled cheese is burning.”

  “Shit fire!” he says with a twang that makes my stomach flutter. My cowboy’s a real charmer.

  “ARE YOU SURE you feel comfortable going, baby girl?” Dusty asks while sitting on the corner of my bed. His hands fiddle with the edge of my purple comforter.

  Shrugging my shoulders, I turn around and walk towards my closet for the millionth time today. My fingers graze the tops of a few of my sweaters. I don’t really know what we have planned, other than eating Thanksgiving dinner and visiting Levi’s grave. That thought alone sends a shiver down my spine. Should I wear black? Is that too over the top?

  “Hensley, not answering me makes me feel a little uneasy about this trip.”

  “I know. I didn’t mean to. My brain is sort of mush right now,” I admit.

  “If you have reservations, you shouldn’t go.” I glower as he speaks. “I’m not kidding. Whatever has you so nervous is obviously weighing heavy on your shoulders. It’s a lot to swallow – his brother and his alcoholic dad. I know it hits close to home.”

  Turning back around, I continue to pull items out of my closet. My arms are full as I walk over to my bed and drop the pile of shirts into my open suitcase.

  “Stop it, and sit down.” His voice seems concerned.

  Crawling on my twin bed, I sit down beside him. Reaching over to me, he pulls me close to him so we are side by side, and the floodgates open. I’m not crying because I’m scared of going; I’m crying because this is just another notch, another reason why we are perfect for one another. He trusts me enough to bring me home to meet his family, and yet I’ve still not invited him home to meet mine and we live in the same town. I’m not ashamed of Colby, but I’m nervous how my mom would act around him. Who knows if she would be kind or be an ass in an attempt to scare him off.