In the Lyrics Page 14
“Don’t cry. It’s okay, Hens.” He wipes stray tears off of my soaking cheeks. “Now talk to me. I know we’ve both been a little preoccupied with school and our men, but I’m still your best friend. This is killing me seeing you so upset and not knowing why. Did he hurt you?”
I wince from his statement, “God, no!”
His eyebrows raise, and I know he isn’t going to give up until he knows why I’m crying.
“I love him and it scares me. Things have been great, but we’ve also only been in the safety of our homes and school. There have been no outside factors. No drama, well, other than Brittani and Logan, but they’re nothing we can’t handle. But this trip is real. Meeting his parents is real. Meeting his brother, that’s real. I’m just scared that once we take this step, this leap together, I’ll be done for.” Dusty pats my hand that’s resting on my leg. I continue, “I love music, you know that, but Colby makes me think about things differently. You have to see how serious he is all the time. Okay….” Stop beating around the bush. “I’m effing scared that I’m going to lose myself. I’m in her boots.” I don’t have to say whose, because Dusty already knows. She and my dad aren’t home, so I don’t have to whisper, but the words leaving my mouth still make me feel sick. “She loved my dad, had sex with him and had me. I ruined her life and stopped her from living her dreams. I don’t want this, my love for Colby, to ruin me. To prevent me from what I want to do, who I want to be. But right now, I’d give it up. If he asked me, I would. I’d choose him and…ahh, I’m a mess!”
“Shh.” Dusty grabs me, his hands wrapping around me as he rocks me back and forth. “You know I’ve never seen you like this. Not once have I ever had to give you this speech, but I want you to listen to me. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean that love is going to keep you from living your dreams. While your dreams may change a little, they’re still there. You are an amazing musician, friend, girlfriend, and person. I changed my mind. I think you should go on this trip. Because you’re right, you need to get out of our town and spend some time together. I have nothing but faith in my man. Colby is a good dude who really cares about you. Stop worrying so much.”
“This is why you’re my best friend, D. You always know the right thing to say.”
Feeling better about my decision to go, I finish packing an assortment of clothes and shoes. Dusty leaves and my parents finally get home. My mom doesn’t talk to me. Whatever. I’m an adult, and I don’t need her permission to go, but it’d be nice to have it.
“NOW BOARDING FLIGHT 6324 to Galveston, Texas. Boarding group number one, please step forward with your boarding pass,” the flight attendant’s voice says over the loud speaker.
“We’re in three. Let’s go ahead and get in line.” Colby smiles, standing up and throwing his backpack over one of his shoulders. “You ready, Sunshine?” he asks as he holds his hand out to me. Nodding my head yes, I grab his hand and we walk to the boarding group three line.
After a couple of minutes, it’s our turn to board the plane. My palms are sweaty as I hand the attendant my pass. She scans it and then smiles at me like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I do, and it’s the giant heap of metal that we’re about to walk on to.
“Don’t be scared. It was either this or driving, and we’d waste at least a solid two days that route.” Holding my body close to his, we walk towards the plane. My body shivers, but it isn’t from the forty-degree temperature outside; it’s my nerves. How have I never flown before?
“This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t be scared, Colby, but I feel like I’m going to barf.”
“They make special bags for that. Now come on.” Urging me forward he touches my lower back and guides me in front of him. His soothing touch normally calms me, but not today. I’m a nervous wreck and haven’t had a drink since that night over the summer, but a glass of wine or something sounds nice.
We sit down and go over the evacuation plan. Colby laughs, but there is nothing amusing about this situation.
“So, umm, what did your parents say when you asked if I could come home with you?” Feeling like a little girl, I’m curious and can’t help but ask.
“My Pops…well, he didn’t really have much to say. Just ignore him, that’s what I do, but my momma is thrilled. It’s been a long time, Hensley…”
Curiosity overwhelms me again. “A long time for what?” I probe.
“Since I brought a girl home.” My face scrunches up. I knew it. I shouldn’t have asked. “Come on, you can’t get mad. You’ve known I’ve had a few serious relationships. None close to this, so stop pouting; it’s going to give you wrinkles. It’s just that, well…I told you about my father. He isn’t the nicest man in the world. So bringing people around, sometimes it isn’t pleasant. Let’s just leave it at that,” he admits.
Dropping the subject, I say, “So what is there to do at your farm? Do we get to like deliver baby cows and stuff?”
“Seriously? I thought you were raised on a farm.”
I smirk and say, “I was raised in the country, not on a farm. The only farm I’ve been on has been the center, Logan’s farm.” Ugh, just saying his name leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. Colby told me about that night at the bonfire and the awful things that Logan said. I’ve tried to steer clear of him as much as possible at work, but we’re bound to have the same shift again. After all it’s his farm.
“All right, good point. I don’t know, I mean, of course I’ll help with the feedings and stuff while I’m there. You’re more than welcome to join, but it’s early, and I know you’re not much of a morning person.”
“You caught me.” I yawn.
A few minutes pass and the plane starts to shake. My clammy hand grips the shared armrest between Colby and I. Colby explains it’s something called turbulence, but I don’t care what the technical name is, it’s scary as shit.
“Can you tell me a story?”
Pushing up the armrest that divides our seats, he scoots closer to me. “There was a princess named…umm…her name was Danielle, and she lived in a faraway land…” His words fade out as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, imagining my own fairytale. One filled with a house with a big barn and kids running and playing in the meadows, and me and my husband, sitting on the porch watching the lives we created together running aimlessly around.
SHE LOOKS SO peaceful I almost don’t want to wake her. Nudging her arm, she doesn’t stir. I lean down and brush a stray piece of hair off of her forehead, and kiss her softly – still no movement. “Hensley, come on, wake up. We’re here.”
Her eyes spring open. “We are?” she shouts.
“Shh.” I laugh at her while holding my finger over my mouth.
“Oh, crap. Sorry, everyone.” She slouches down into her seat, trying to hide from the other passengers.
“I just texted my momma. She’s outside waiting in the pick-up now.”
We get off the plane and go to baggage claim to get Hensley’s suitcase and our guitars. We’re only staying the weekend, but she said she needed farm clothes and a few nice outfits, so I didn’t argue. Hensley dolled up is a sight to see.
“Are you excited?” I ask, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as we walk side by side. She’s carrying a small bag and pulling her suitcase.
“Nervous,” she admits.
Tightening my grip, I give her a reassuring squeeze and lead her to the glass doors. Once outside I spot my parents’ truck, and walk towards it.
“Oh, baby!” my momma says as we near. Her hand is covering her mouth and tears are falling down her cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much. So very much, my son.” Embracing me in her arms, she hugs me like she hasn’t seen me in years.
Letting go of me, she takes one look at Hensley. “Aren’t you just breathtaking, young lady? No wonder my son here is so smitten.” She smiles and then leans forward and hugs Hensley.
“Thank you, ma’am,” Hensley says quietly. Knowing that she’s never had to be introduced to a boyfriend
’s parents before, I let her change in character slide. I’ve never once seen her act so shy before. It’s strange, but I know she’s nervous and for good reason. She’s about to meet my old man.
“Now come on, y’all. I got dinner to fix.”
I load up the cab with our bags and guitar cases, and we climb into the truck. The ride takes about thirty minutes from the airport back to the farm. It feels so good to be home; having my girl sitting next to me is just a bonus. Who would have thought this day would ever come? Not me, that’s for sure, but for the first time, I feel like I can breathe. Like facing my father and this dreaded holiday won’t be so hard for once. And it’s all because of the gorgeous brunette that sang out to me and stole my heart. Worried about how my momma will react, I refrain from rubbing Hensley’s thigh. Instead, I grab her hand and hold it in mine. She smiles as she stares out of the passenger side window. I wish I knew what she was thinking about.
A few minutes later we pull up to the gates of our house. They’re nothing grand, just some run down old-as-dirt wooden poles. Our family crest is printed on a small sign that hangs off of it, “Grant Grounds, Stables and Cattle.”
“Home sweet home,” Momma says as she turns left and we drive up our narrow driveway.
The first thing I notice is Eddie waving his arms in the air. His smile is wider than a football field.
Putting the truck into park, we get out of it and stretch. Nothing like sitting in a plane for hours and then taking a long ride in a crammed truck to make you feel like you’re pushing sixty.
“Welcome home.” Eddie gleams with excitement as he grabs me and hugs me. “Who’s this girl here?” he asks while looking at Hensley, a little too hard I might add.
Pulling her by the waist, I hold her. “Eddie, meet Hensley; Hensley, meet Eddie. He’s my Pop’s right hand man, and a damn good one at that.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am.” Eddie tilts the rim of his hat, and Hensley smiles.
“Well, come on in and meet Larry. He’s watching the football game.” Momma reaches to grab Hensley’s hand and I follow them inside.
As soon as my foot steps in the door, I regret bringing Hensley. Pops is resting in his recliner with a bottle sitting by his side. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I thought for one fucking day he would have enough decency to hide his drinking. Especially knowing I was bringing her home with me. Nope. I should have known better than to think he would change, for me or anyone else.
“Pops,” I call to him. He turns his head to the side, but his expression is blank. “This is my girlfriend, Hensley Bradley.”
Turning my head towards Hensley, I notice she looks anxious. Honestly I am too.
“Hi, sir. Thank you and Mrs. Grant for allowing me to visit with Colby. Your farm is beautiful.”
He doesn’t respond. We stand in the middle of the doorway watching him take another self-destructive drink from his whiskey bottle.
“Are y’all just gonna fucking stand there letting the cold air in or ya gonna shut the fucking door?” he asks, his eyes never leaving the TV screen.
My momma reaches behind us and shuts the door quietly. She’s scared to make too much noise and anger Pops. I’m not stupid. “Colby, go on and show Hensley to her room. I’ve turned the guest bedroom’s blankets down, and then Miss Hensley, I wouldn’t mind some help in the kitchen.”
“Yes, Mrs. Grant, I’d love to help in any way I can.”
Grabbing Hensley’s hand, I shift my bag back up on top of my shoulder and use my free hand to pick up her suitcase. She follows my lead around the sofa and up the staircase. Opening the bedroom door across from Levi’s old room, I’m reminded why we came back. Swallowing, I say, “This is where you’ll be sleeping.” We walk into the small room that is painted a light shade of yellow and has a handmade quilt draped over the twin mattress that is pressed against the wall. “Momma won’t let us stay together, but once they’re asleep there’s no way in hell I’m not sneaking in here.” I smile.
“I love you so much,” she declares. There’s a hidden message in her words. I tried to warn her about my father and his outbursts. I didn’t want her to be taken off guard when he had one of his little fits, but I guess she witnessed the first one and feels sorry for me, which is something I hate. He was never like this, until the accident. We’ve all just sat back and watched him slowly die from the inside out. One day, it’s bound to really happen. I’m sure his liver can’t take much more of the toxins he drowns his body with.
“Come here, Sunshine.” I walk over to the bed and sit down. It dips down from my weight. “Sit down.” She sits next to me with her hands in her lap. “I don’t want you to think for one minute that his foul behavior has anything to do with you or you being here. I wanted you here with me, momma wanted to meet you, and Pops, he can go straight to hell for all I care. Just don’t…let him get to you. Okay?”
“I promise. I’m just…I don’t know. I feel like I’ve overstepped my boundaries. If this was a normal holiday it might be different. But it’s not. I know how important family time is, with you know…” I know she means with the anniversary of my brother’s death right around the corner. “I just want to make you happy, and if me being here helps any, then I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”
Without saying a word, I lean forward and kiss her. We still haven’t had sex, but it’s times like these, when we’re both baring ourselves that I feel like if we were alone we could easily lose ourselves in one another. I would do anything to be buried inside her. I am only a male with pure testosterone running though my veins, and she is so sexy she doesn’t even know what it does to me.
“You better stop it! I don’t want to get kicked out on the first night. Now you heard your momma, she needs help in the kitchen. I’ll be back after that.” Getting up, she ruffles my hair.
My hand grabs hers as she starts to walk away. “You don’t have to help her. You could stay up here and lay in my arms…I wouldn’t mind that.”
“There is no way in hell I’m not going to help! I just got here and want to make a good impression.” She smiles and then walks out of the room. I can’t help but stare at the door after she’s gone.
I hear the pitter-patter of her feet as she runs back up the stairs.
“I almost forgot,” as she leaps from the floor into my arms on the bed. “Tonight, when you’re sneaking into my room, I want to cuddle.”
Snickering under my breath, I kiss her soft lips again. Lips that were made for my mouth to own. “I’ll do whatever you want, as hard as you want. Just make the call, Sunshine.”
“What? Are you kidding me? I’ve been waiting…I’ve been torturing myself for this long, and all you wanted is for me to tell you I was ready?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Seriousness washes over her face as I stare into her eyes.
“I was ready when I said I loved you. I’ve been ready.” She smiles, “She raised you right. You know that, don’t you?”
I swallow before I nod. She raised me to be like my father, the old version of him – strong and hard-working, but kind and caring.
“Okay, I’m going to kitchen duty. I love you, boyfriend.”
It never gets old hearing that.
“YOU SEE THAT bottom cabinet?” Mrs. Grant points with her left hand as she stirs the noodles on the stove with her right.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Get out that tan strainer and set it in the sink for me, honey. You don’t want to overcook these noodles. Colby likes them with a little chew to ‘em.”
Moving towards the kitchen sink, I look out the window to see him and Eddie sitting on the metal railings of a large pen. A few horses are grazing in the enclosed meadow.
“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” his momma catches me staring and asks.
“You raised a very good man. I’m truly blessed to have him in my life.”
“I like you, Hensley. You seem well-mannered, and you’re more beautiful than tho
se models on TV. I think he’s just as blessed to have you.” Her face is a little wrinklier than other women I know that are around the same age. My heart hurts as she smiles, because I know why the wrinkles are there. She’s been through a lot; they all have.
Flying in on a national holiday wasn’t ideal, but the tickets were cheaper and it allowed us to fly straight through. My eyes are heavy as we finish preparing the Thanksgiving meal and then settle into the small dining room. There’s a giant turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and several other dishes sitting in front of us. My stomach growls as the home-cooked feast laid out in front of me calls my name. My mom makes a killer meal, but this…this is enough food to feed a small village. At my house it’s always just been the three of us, but here there are seven hungry mouths sitting around the table, and one empty seat. Mr. Grant is seated at the head of the table with Mrs. Grant, who insisted I call her Anna, beside him. Directly opposite from her is Eddie, his wife and their son, and then Colby, me, and an empty chair next to me, for Levi.
“Well, what’s everyone waiting for?” Mr. Grant growls.
“Oh you hush, Larry. How about we go around the table and say something we’re thankful for. We haven’t done that…in a very long time,” Anna beams. I feel Colby grab my hand under the table.
“That sounds like a mighty idea. ‘Cuz, oh boy, am I thankful for so many glorious things,” Eddie’s wife sings out. The pure happiness and sweet Southern belle voice that becomes her makes me want to raise my hand in the air and shout hallelujah.
“I’ll go first,” I interrupt. “I’m thankful for meeting your son, and I’m thankful that he invited me here to meet all of you.” It’s a lame speech, but it’s the truth. After being so nervous to come with him, I’m glad I did. Actually, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the entire world other than with him today.
“Cheers,” everyone says in unison as they raise their glasses in the air, everyone except Larry.