A Graceful Mess Read online

  “You were bluffing?” he mumbles as his face tenses from the pain and blood oozes from the corner of his mouth.

  “Don’t ever underestimate me again.” I lean down closer to his ear. “I hope you rot in hell.”

  “Thanks for being here, Carson, and thanks for playing along.”

  “No problem. I don’t know what it is about Grace, bro, but you have it bad. She’s had a fucked up past from what I can tell. Just take it slow, all right?”

  “Bro, there’s no taking it slow.” Standing on the gravel in my driveway I look up and see Grace sitting on the edge of the steps. There is a female police officer sitting beside her. I know she is just giving her formal statement, but the thought that this is the second shooting she has borne witness too in the last few days makes me want to strangle Brody for causing such a mess.

  Carson catches me watching Grace.

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  “I love her like I’ve never loved anything or anyone in my life.”

  Carson pats me on my back and then walks to his car, leaving me standing alone. We have had a house full of police, reporters, and family here for the past few hours. The sky is getting darker and the crickets are out. Their sounds in the field are somewhat relaxing compared to the noise of everyone’s questions. One reporter even called me a hero for bluffing Brody. I’m no hero, just a man in love with a jaded woman.

  The ambulance and cop cars make their way down the long driveway towards town, and I feel an instant sense of relief. This week has proven to be one of the most eventful of my life. Closing my eyes to make sense of the situation, images of not one, but two men being shot in front of me fill my thoughts. Violence is never the answer, and I don’t condone it one bit, but this…this was self-defense. If Parker didn’t shoot Brody, he would have eventually come after me again. Who knows how many times? Probably until he got what he wanted: me dead.

  I remember the first court hearing like it was yesterday. The judge deemed him to be mentally unstable. Anyone could have made that determination. Ten years. That was all he got.

  Shuffling through the box of papers on Parker’s floor, my childhood feels like ages ago, yet all of these notes are from it. I feel like I’ve aged a million years since then. After everyone left, I was still shaken up by today’s events, so Parker put on some tea. He is always so kind. It’s like whatever I need, he is willing to do. Right now, I just need him to be here. So as we sit looking through the torn cardboard box from my parents, he silently sits next to me. The only sounds are our breaths leaving our lungs and occasionally Josie lets out a bark or two to alert Parker that she needs to go outside. Lifting a pile of papers into the air, I let go and allow them to drift to the floor.

  “I mean, how could I have been so blind, Parker? Look at this; look at these notes. How did I miss the fact that my own boyfriend was crazy? He was obsessed with me. Look! Look, Parker!” As I surrender to tears, Parker takes me in his arms.

  “Shh…” he whispers while patting my head and rocking me back and forth on his lap like I am a fragile child. “There is no explanation for him. He’s sick, and I am so sorry you have had to deal with this, but he’s gone now and he will never see the light of day again. He isn’t going to jail this time; he’s going to prison. Everything’s okay now.”

  With everything we have been through, I can’t believe this handsome man is still here. His words feel like promises – ones I hope will be kept. I wish Brody would’ve died from that bullet. I hate myself for wishing for someone’s death, but hopefully God understands my reasoning for those feelings. I pray that he gets what he deserves in prison.

  “Thank you, Parker.” He nods his Southern-boy nod that melts my heart. It’s like he says “you’re welcome” with the slow movement instead of words.

  “How about we get some rest? The cleaners will be here tomorrow to clean the carpet in my room, but we can use the spare room for now. Does that sound good, sweetheart? You look exhausted. Maybe you should shower first.”

  “A shower sounds nice.” Leaving the box of papers covering the living room floor, we stand up and walk down the hallway. Parker opens the spare bedroom door and ushers me in. The space is just as big as his bedroom, but the colors are more modern. Gray paint covers the walls and the furniture isn’t rustic like the rest of the house. A big bed sits in the middle of the room. Pillows are scattered everywhere. It looks so comfy that I want to jump on it and submerge myself in the comforter.

  “Come here.” Taking his hand, we walk a few steps to the en suite bathroom. Hitting the lights, the sight is breathtaking.

  “Do you want to shower or relax in the tub, sweetheart? I have some candles I can light for you. It might be more relaxing.”

  “Soaking in the tub sounds good.” Opening a cabinet under the sink he bends and grabs a few candles. He places them around the massive tub and opens a drawer. Pulling a lighter out of it, he makes his way around and lights all four candles. His having everything ready at hand makes me a little uneasy. I pray that he hasn’t done this same routine before, but the events that just took place give me no room to be jealous. The past is in the past where it belongs.

  Turning on the faucet, steam rolls off of the water’s surface as it fills the tub.

  “Here, sweetheart.” Parker holds his hand out to me.

  “Feel this. Is it too hot?”

  “No, it feels perfect.” I step away from his body and slide my pants off, and then my top. Standing naked, even alone in the mirror, has always felt awkward to me, but right now there is nothing strange about this situation. I am standing naked in front of the man I love. He stands up from the kneeling position he was in and walks towards the door.

  “I’ll give you some time alone. If you need me, just holler and I’ll be right here. Oh, and Grace, I love you.” I nod, and then he turns the bronze handle and exits the bathroom. Picking up one foot I step into the steaming tub. The temperature feels perfect as I lower myself into it. Laying my head back against the tub, I try to calm my racing mind down. It keeps replaying this week’s events over and over. It’s like my life has been a broken record and I can’t get the music to stop playing the same daunting song. Taking a few calming breaths, I’m finally able to relax.

  Noticing the sky is getting darker from the small window, I know it must be getting late, so I stand up and pull the plug allowing the lukewarm water to drain. Feeling refreshed I step out of the tub and dry off. Remembering I didn’t bring a change of clothes, I wrap the cotton towel around my body and open the door.

  Shutting the bathroom door I walk towards the kitchen. I haven’t had a drink in days, not that I’m an alcoholic, but I need something to take the edge off tonight. Pouring myself a glass of whiskey, I move to the living room and sit on my brown leather sofa. The amber liquid that fills me with warmth does nothing to clear my head. If anything it makes me think more.

  What in the fuck happened that made Brody go crazy?

  Feeling like a nosy prick, my thoughts get the best of me as I slide down the front of the sofa. The papers sprawled out everywhere on my rug leave me feeling flabbergasted. Reaching my hand into the box, a leather notebook grabs my attention. The police must have left it in the box of copies on accident. I notice the front of the notebook looks like it has been burnt, or attempted to be at one time. Skimming through the pages the words written there send shivers down my spine. Brody really is a psycho. It appears to be a diary or something. Each page is dated and simply signed “B.”

  Taking a swig from my glass, I read the first page.

  March 13, 1999

  I leave tomorrow. I am going to miss my best friend. She keeps crying on the playground. I wish she was coming with me.

  Goodbye orphanage, goodbye Grace.

  B

  Oh shit.

  That’s how they are connected. It all makes sense. Brody and Grace lived in the same orphanage in Maine. My eager hands shuffle through the pages in the back of the journal.
>
  May 25, 2004

  It’s been about six or so weeks since I asked her out and tonight is our third date. I don’t think she recognizes me or remembers who I am. I haven’t said anything. It kind of works to my advantage. It’s like having a clean slate. At least she doesn’t know about my past, our past. I was so fucking surprised when I pulled up to school and there was this little, blonde freshman staring at me. Those eyes. I couldn’t forget them even if I tried. Grace was here, my Gracie found me. She is still a virgin but she won’t be after tonight. I can’t wait to pop her cherry and mark her. After tonight she is mine for life.

  B

  Jumping from the sound of the bathroom door creaking, I slide the leather journal underneath the couch cushion. I’m not stealing it; I just don’t want her to find it tonight of all nights. She has already been through so much. Her towel-covered body walks towards me sitting on the floor. Bending down and holding the towel with both hands to prevent it from falling, she sits on my lap. Her skin is soft and her hair is wet. Like her soul, she bares her body for me. Taking the last sip of my drink, I use my good arm to slide the towel off of her. Sitting up slightly she allows me to pull the towel out from underneath her ass. She is naked and I am fully clothed. I don’t know what to do. My body aches to be buried deep inside her, but there is a little voice calling out that I need to tell her what I just read. I know once I speak those words, once she knows of her and Brody’s lifelong connection, she will be shattered. It will undoubtedly make things worse. Not only will she learn that Brody has been a total fucking creep her whole life, but then there is the other giant situation. She is adopted, and doesn’t know it. That news alone will cause her to question everything. I don’t think I should hide it, I might even get in major trouble with Mark Jacobs for slipping his secret, but I love her. I can’t keep it from her. We basically just finalized our relationship, without actually saying the words, and now this. It will crush her. My mind races thinking of the right way to handle the situation as Grace’s lips trail kisses on my neck. I can feel my dick getting hard and the man in me comes out, pushing the other thoughts away.

  At least for right now.

  Focusing on the naked woman in front of me, I do what any man would do.

  “Are you sure, sweetheart? We don’t have to do this. I know you’ve had a hell of a day and you are probably sore from earlier still.” Her bottom lip puckers out like a child pouting.

  That’s fine; if she wants it that bad, she can have it.

  “Tell me what you want.”

  Without hesitation she says, “I want your big, thick cock.” Her laughter makes my heart skip a beat as I stare into her blue eyes. She bends in front of me so we are eye level.

  “Don’t you want me? Don’t you want to bend me over that cushion and fill me up or lay me across your coffee table and taste me?” She has no boundaries and the surprises from this girl just keep coming.

  “Oh, that’s how you want it, huh, sweetheart?” I pray she says yes. Swallowing hard, she bends her knees and stands up. Before I have time to blink she shoves everything off of the coffee table, and sits on the edge. The last of the liquid in my cup drips off the rim onto the floor and little shards of ice surround the puddle that is now forming.

  “I just took a long, nice bath, and I want you to taste me.” Holy fucking shit. I just died and went to heaven. So long to my bashful and shy Grace; she has officially left the building.

  “I would love nothing more than to fill my mouth with your juices.” Scooting closer to her, I lower my head and taste her sweet body. She tenses from my tongue as it enters her opening. Bracing her legs up on my shoulders I am reminded of my battle wound so I move one leg down, resting her foot on the floor. We sit like this for a few minutes, her body swaying with my mouth as it moves wandering around her labia. I nip her folds with my teeth causing her to scream my name. Good thing I don’t have neighbors out here in the middle of nowhere.

  “Oh, you like that, do ya?”

  “Yes, yes, more!”

  “No, I’m good. Actually I’m a little tired. I think I’ll go ahead and head to bed.”

  “Wait, wait, no!” She catches on to my joke and crinkles her nose. She looks angry, but I can tell she is putting on a front as well.

  “That wasn’t very funny! But I think you’re right. We should move this to the bedroom.” Standing up she holds her hand out to me and then leads me into the spare bedroom.

  I wish it was possible to freeze time. This summer has proven to be one of the best of my entire life. Brody went to prison for attempted murder for shooting Parker, and, well, Parker is Parker. With our new boyfriend and girlfriend title lingering over our heads, I feel like a little girl. I am absolutely smitten with him. As happy as I am, the end of summer means the fall semester is about to start. While I am looking forward to getting these next three years over with and complete my bar exam, I am nervous about what this will do to our relationship. I have spent every waking second with Parker, when he isn’t working. I even signed up at his gym and I have to say he looks pretty scrumptious holding a barbell with sweat dripping off his forehead. A few times I couldn’t help myself and begged him to take me in the women’s locker room. Of course we had to be quiet, but it was still good. Carson finally accepted I was off the market, but he didn’t let up at first. I can’t count the times he said I was with the wrong Porter brother. About a week ago he even mentioned seeing me naked that day Brody showed up. Needless to say, Parker handled that, and Carson won’t be bringing that up ever again. Every day for at least the next week when he sees his black eye in the mirror he will be reminded of Parker’s warning.

  I smile into the phone as I say, “I love you too, babe, but I gotta go. I’m about to register for my classes. Okay, I’ll be over when I get done. Ugh, it shouldn’t take too long. Wait, you’re cooking dinner? What do you have up your sleeve, Parker Porter? K, babe, seriously I gotta go. And remember I’m allergic to green peppers.”

  Hanging up the phone, I make my way towards campus. There is a crowd of people standing outside of the bursar’s building. I hear a voice that sounds strangely familiar. I wonder what’s going on as my feet move me forward towards the crowd. There is a tall man standing up on stage. I think I’ve seen him in a commercial before.

  “These are not promises, people. These are not threats. These are facts and I can assure you I know what I am talking about. Vote for me and allow me the chance to bring back some traditional ways. Let me help our town, our community, our country. You have the power to make a difference. Let me be the light guiding you there.”

  The crowd is hooting and hollering. “Mark Jacobs, Mark Jacobs,” they chant over and over.

  Our state legislator?

  Pushing my way up to the front of the makeshift stage, the man standing on it looks down and we make eye contact.

  His eyes.

  I have never seen eyes the same color blue as mine. My hand moves, as does his, as we both raise them up towards our eyes in unison. It’s like the chanting and hooting surrounding us fades into the background. He stops talking as he continues to look down at me and we hold each other’s gaze for what seems like forever, until someone in a navy suit reaches out and grabs Mr. Jacobs’ elbow. The same arm that was touching his face a second ago, moves as he waves to his adoring fans.

  “Thank you all for coming out and supporting me. I would hope you all have enough faith in me, and as always I would appreciate your vote!” With one last flick of the wrist he turns on his heels and begins to descend the stairs attached to the stage. My feet move, as my arms push and shove students and faculty members out of my way until I reach the stairs. His foot hits the grass and it’s like something in the air changes. Neither one of us speaks; we just stare, observing one another. For some strange reason, I feel like I know him. Someone coughing behind him startles us both and causes him to look away breaking the lock our eyes had on each other.

  “Mr. Jacobs, we are on a really tig
ht schedule today. Please follow me or else we will not make it to your next event on time,” says a much older, bald man as he types on an expensive tablet in his hand. Mr. Jacobs nods his head and his handler walks away, leaving us once again staring into one another’s identical eyes.

  I can’t explain what transpires in that moment. All I know is I have an overpowering sense of curiosity about this man, our soon to be senator.

  “You better get going before you make the ogre upset.” Mr. Jacobs laughs at my remarks.

  I can’t believe I just said that.

  “Have a good day, Miss…?”

  “Grace Clearwater.” Extending my hand out in front of me, he takes it. His face turns hard as if he is suddenly angered by our encounter. A camera sounds in the distance as he jerks his hand away and then quickly walks towards a long, black limo parked on the side of the road. I thought politicians loved getting their pictures taken with supporters or random people in the community.

  That was strange.

  I can’t shake the feeling of my strange encounter from earlier today. Putting my car into park, I notice all of the lights in Parker’s house are off. Climbing out of my car, I grab my purse and walk inside. Josie runs full speed to the door once she notices it’s me. Bending down, my hands roam her head and her adorable ears, my touch causes her long tail to wag repeatedly.

  “Hey, girl! Are you excited to see me?” The smell in the air is divine. I know Parker said he was preparing dinner, but he has never cooked for me before. Well, nothing fancier than hamburgers on the grill at least. The aroma in the air has my mouth watering. Dropping my tote bag and purse by the door, I walk the few steps to the kitchen. I notice there is a lit candle sitting on the counter. I look around, but Parker is nowhere in sight, so I slide my shoes off and kick them over towards the wall. When I do, I see a folded note with one rose attached to it resting on the ground. A smile spreads across my face as I reach to pick up the note and open it.