In the Lyrics Page 28

  “I’m going home to find my girl and tell her how I feel. You’re both right. I still love her and I’ve been too foolish to admit it. She deserves to know. At least then it will be off my chest. Whatever she wants to do with the information is on her.”

  My momma winks at me before she leans over and kisses my Pops on the cheek. If they can make it through anything, I know Hensley and I can too. I just have to get home and tell her.

  OUR MEAL IS nice, but the sadness that fills the air around us makes the day bittersweet. Remembering the years we spent laughing and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade made my heart ache. Dad would point out the funniest things during the parade, like the kid picking his nose or someone on a float acting silly. Today is the first of many holidays we’ll have without him.

  After our small feast, I help my mom clean up the kitchen and put up the leftovers. You’d think we were planning on feeding half the town with all the food that she made. I didn’t mention it though for the mere fact that I’m sure she would break down. It’s been less than a full week. She’ll have to adjust her cooking portions majorly. I pour us both a glass of wine and we sit in front of the TV watching old Christmas movies on Lifetime.

  “So tell me about what’s going on with Colby?”

  Stop the clock, why is she bringing him up?

  “Huh, Mom, I’m not sure what you mean,” I ask with a baffled look on my face.

  “Now you know damn well there’s nothing getting past me. I saw him drop you off the other night.”

  My eyebrows shoot up as my eyes widen. Was she spying on me?

  “And I know what you’re thinking. I wasn’t spying on you. The sound of you shutting the car door woke me up.”

  Crap. I feel like I’ve just been caught cheating on a math test, and as I deny it, the teacher tells me she saw the answers written on my hand.

  “He was just dropping me off, no biggie.”

  Taking a sip of my wine, I pull the small blanket off of the back of the couch and drape it over my legs.

  “For some reason I find it hard to believe that it’s no biggie. You can stop lying to me and more importantly to yourself, Hensley. Why do you feel the need to hide him from me? You always have.”

  “Mom, do we really need to talk about this now? It’s Thanksgiving, let’s relax and be thankful. I don’t want to fight with you about this, not today,” I huff.

  “I’m done with all that nonsense, princess. Life is too short and I can’t take back the past, but I can fix the future. We used to be so close and then he waltzed into town,” she waves.

  Reading her mind, I say, “And stole your baby?”

  Shrugging her shoulders, she lays her palm on my thigh.

  “He didn’t steal me. I wasn’t living here before he even moved to town. You were suffocating me, Mom. Pushing your dreams onto me at every turn. I just grew tired of it, so I left. Dusty’s became my safe haven where I could be myself and love music because I wanted to, not because it’s what you wanted me to love. And then Colby came to town, and I had a hard time knowing that you wouldn’t accept him. There were countless times I wanted to introduce you and Dad to him, and now I’ll never get the chance…” Sobs catch in my throat. Taking a sip of wine, I try and drown them.

  Before I have time to finish my sentence, my mom grabs me and pulls me close to her.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers into my ear. “I know I should have been different. I was so stinkin’ scared you would fall in love and you’d never get the chance to leave this town. I didn’t want my mistakes…not mistakes, getting pregnant was one, but having you was the biggest blessing I’ve ever had. I just didn’t want you to feel like, ten years from now, what-if. I’m truly sorry you had to flee the comfort of your own home to get away from me. I never meant to be so overbearing. Please forgive me.”

  The heartfelt sincerity in her tone pulls at my heart. I know her words are real, and I accept her apology.

  “Well, I guess while Colby is our topic…”

  “I know you still love him, Hensley. I saw the look in your eyes when you were looking at that old tattered photo album in your room that you dug out from your hope chest. I know because I put it there when you left, and I know I said I don’t spy on you, and truly I don’t, but I did the other day. I was standing in the hallway. Watching you look through it, seeing the look in your eyes as you touched a picture of him, it broke my heart. I knew in that moment, that you loved him…that you still love him. If losing your father taught me anything, it’s that time is precious. If you still love him, baby, you have to tell him. The time and distance you’ve had apart don’t matter.”

  Who is this woman and where is my real mom? I can’t believe the words that are coming out of her mouth and for a split second I consider pinching myself to make sure that I’m awake. My entire life was spent thinking she despised me from birth. I was the ending to her music career, an inconvenience. Yes, she did motherly things, but I’ve always felt like I was a nuisance to her, and now Dad dies and it brings out a side of her I’ve never seen before. A side I wish I could have grown up with. The weird part is she seems like she’s rooting for Colby and I. I just don’t know if our time is over, if there’s any hope for fixing the damage that’s already been done.

  “I REALLY APPRECIATE you calling me.” Mitch smiles from behind the bar.

  There’s no way I would leave town and not do Mitch a solid.

  “No problem. I just can’t believe how many people signed up for open mic night.”

  “They think since you got discovered here, they all will. The only problem is, they’re not all as talented as you,” he winks.

  “Yeah, yeah. You’re flattering me. Wait, are you on my payroll?” I joke.

  “I wish!”

  “All right, I better go get ready. The last performer is going on stage now.”

  Walking behind the stage, I hear the sounds of the girl singing on stage. Some people sound good. It’s a shame there aren’t more labels out there that give young kids a chance. Mold them and teach them like they did for me. Honestly, I think more kids would stay off the streets around here if they thought they had a chance at something more. I know I’m still young, but it makes me extremely thankful to Robert for my career, even if I was his second choice.

  “Hey, Sunshine.”

  Turning around, I see Colby tuning his guitar.

  “Are you singing?” I ask, baffled by his presence.

  I didn’t know he still performed. Why wouldn’t he? Just because you left doesn’t mean he stopping loving music.

  “I thought I might tonight. I haven’t in a long time, but since Mitch told me you were going to be here tonight, I thought I’d stick around,” he admits.

  Walking away, I leave him to tune his guitar and make sure that I’m ready for my set. There isn’t a band, which is how I like it. Sometimes when we’re on tour, Will and I will find a small hole in the wall bar and set up. We’ll play with only our acoustics. It’s more personable and real. It’s how music used to be for me, before things blew up right in front of my eyes and I became an overnight sensation. Before I became this girl, the one I said I would never be. It’s not that I’m a bad person, it’s just that moving to Cali I promised myself I’d stay true to my country roots. Interviews even comment on my well-practiced Southern twang. There’s nothing practiced about it, it’s just my accent. There’s been a handful of times I’ve wanted to throat punch people, but Robert threatens my contract and reels me in. Keeping a smile on your face twenty-four hours a day is extremely exhausting, so I’m excited to be here tonight and play just because I want to.

  The girl on stage finishes her song and the crowd claps, but it’s the cheering and screaming that alerts my eyes to the stage after she walks off it.

  “All right, all right,” Colby says as he waves to the crowd and sits on a stool in the middle of the stage. There’s a dim light pointed towards him. No wonder all the ladies in the audience are going craz
y, he looks mouthwatering with his guitar resting on his lap.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve been on this stage, so bear with me, okay?” he asks and the hooting continues. “I’ve got my reasons for stepping away. Sometimes they don’t even make sense to me, but recently my reason for making music, my muse, came back into my life and things haven’t been the same. I haven’t been the same, so this is a song I’ve been writing but was just able to finish, and I hope you like it!”

  His fingers find the strings on his guitar and he starts to strum a soft melody.

  “Sometimes I find myself fighting for air

  I find myself looking, but you’re never there

  Time does nothing to dull the ache in my chest

  I know you left

  You were doin’ what you thought was best

  Time hasn’t been on my side

  I’ve been cooped up trying to hide from…

  The pain, the hurt, the sorrow that rocks me to the core

  The happiness, the laughs, it hasn’t been like it was before

  You left

  You fled

  You shattered my heart and left me for dead

  Like a dream I awoke, and I saw your familiar face

  The pain, the hurt, the sorrow left without a trace

  You’re back

  You’re here

  I’d do anything to make the last year disappear.”

  He repeats the chorus and goosebumps rise all over my body. Is this song about me? It has to be. It’s our story to a T. Does this mean he still cares?

  “Thank you,” Colby nods his head one last time before he walks off the stage and down the small set of steps. Walking by me, he whispers, “Good luck,” before leaving me standing, speechless. Thankful that the words I’ve been scared to say he said in the lyrics. The song has to be about me.

  Taking a deep breath, I prepare to go on stage and play my set, eager to finish so I can go find him and tell him I feel the same. I wish these last few months filled with distance and heartache would just disappear too.

  I’M GLAD SHE showed. Now she knows how I feel. I hope she realized that my words were directed towards her. I hope she put two and two together. Walking off the stage, I wish her good luck and then head towards the exit sign. When I get back to my apartment, it’s empty. I would think I had been robbed if Brittani hadn’t already texted me today calling me every nasty name in the book. Since Hensley came back to town, it’s been like Brittani has been on edge all the time wondering what I’m doing or where I’m at. I had to put my foot down. She didn’t like it and decided it was best to move out. I didn’t stop her obviously, and I guess that irritated her more. So much more that she decided to take everything I owned with her.

  Looking at the counter in the kitchen, there’s a note.

  Have fun sitting on the floor tonight, you son of a bitch!

  Laughing, I crumple up the note and toss it into the wastebasket – at least she left that. But, I miss and the paper lands on the floor. And what she doesn’t realize is I’d rather sit on the floor any day than have to sit next to her ever again. Grabbing a half empty bottle of water from the refrigerator, I walk towards my bedroom. Luckily she didn’t take my bed. Lying down, I put my phone on silent and set it on the nightstand, and then I close my eyes. I’m not so much tired as I am mentally exhausted.

  THE POUNDING ON the front door startles me, causing me to jump up from a dead sleep. The light is still on which tells me I dozed off on accident. “Go away, Brittani!” I shout from the bedroom, but the knocking continues.

  Getting up, I stretch before I walk into the living room.

  “Hello?”

  Who in the hell would be pounding on the door at this hour?

  Looking out the door, I see my Sunshine. Turning the lock, I open the door and she looks up at me. Her eyes are hooded and her cheeks are wet with tears.

  “Are you okay, did someone hurt you?” I ask worried as to why she would be pounding on my door, crying, unless something was going on.

  “No, I hurt someone.”

  “What? Oh, no, come here.” I pull her through the doorframe. “You hurt someone? Was there an accident?”

  “No, dummy,” she frowns with a sigh. “I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I failed us. I’ve been so wrapped up…”

  My finger finds the center of her mouth as I lay it against her cold lips. “Shh, don’t say another word.” Moving my index finger out of the way, my lips crash into hers. The feeling is amazing, and her mouth feels like home. For the first time since the day she left, I feel like if I pulled away from her right now, I could actually breathe. Deciding I’d rather breathe with her as close to me as possible, I grab her and pull her towards me. Her arms instantly wrap around my neck. It makes me smile knowing she wants to be just as close to me as I do her.

  Moving my hands down, I grasp her butt and pull her up. Lifting her into the air, she wraps her legs around my waist. Our lips don’t part, as I shut the front door behind her and then push her up against the aluminum door. Moving my mouth from hers, I trail kisses down her neck. Knowing that her neck was her sweet spot, my tongue grazes her skin in an attempt to drive her wild. My head is tugged back as her hands find my hair and run through it.

  “I’ve missed you,” I mutter before her hungry mouth finds mine again.

  Between kisses she pants, “I’ve missed you so much, Colby. So incredibly much.”

  The way she purrs my name makes my dick throb in my pants. I’ve missed her and the sound of her sexy voice.

  Our needy hands roam one another’s bodies, until it’s not enough. The clothes we’re wearing are too big of a barrier between us. We’ve been apart for so long, I don’t want anything between us tonight.

  My feet fail me as I turn and attempt to run towards the bedroom. Stumbling, Hensley holds me tight around the neck and giggles. The sound is fucking sexy as hell, and all I want to do is drop her to the floor, lie on top of her and be inside of her. Moving quickly to the bedroom, I shut the door and lay her on the bed. Almost as soon as her back hits the mattress, she is sitting back up and removing her shirt like it’s on fire. Pulling mine over my head, I unbutton my jeans and kick them off. I’m standing in front of her with a throbbing cock, but all I can think about is pleasing her. I want her to feel my mouth on her core and remember how good we were together. I want her to beg for mercy as I make her come. I want her, plain, simple, and right now.

  My knees hit the top of the mattress as I unbutton her jeans and slowly slide them down. My lips plant small kisses on her exposed legs as the material slides off of them. Glancing down at her parted legs, I palm the area that my mouth waters to taste. Kneeling on the floor, I place both hands on either side of her waist and turn her so she is lying horizontal on my vertical laid bed.

  As soon as my mouth finds her opening, all bets are off. She is mine and I am hers, and there’s not another day that I’m going to let pass us by without us cherishing each other. Grunts of need fill the air, and passion stirs around me, clouding my vision and leading me down a road. I’m normally good with directions, but as I enter her warm, wet opening, I take a leap into the unknown that is Hensley Elaine Bradley for the second time.

  THE SOFTNESS OF Colby’s skin against my naked body reminds me that last night was real. If I’d been drunk I would have thought I dreamt all of this. It would have been a lady’s wet dream, but a dream no less. The perfection that is Colby Skylar Grant makes me wonder what on earth I did to have God place him in my life. Even before all of this craziness between us happened, I still thought I wasn’t worthy enough to call him mine. Where I am sometimes potty-mouthed and uncensored, he is always calm and reserved. It’s a trait I not only adore, but admire.

  My flight leaves in less than four hours, so I know I need to get up, run home, and shower, and then have my mom drop me off at the airport. The warmth of Colby’s arms around me makes me feel a bliss that I’ve been missing for so long. Moving an inch over on the
mattress at a time, I’m finally able to break free from his hold, and slide off the side of the bed. Grabbing my clothes, I slide them on and open the bedroom door.

  I didn’t notice there was no furniture last night, but the entire living room is empty. There’s nothing but a white piece of paper lying on the carpet. Picking it up, I unravel it and read it. Brittani moved out, which explains the absence of furniture.

  My heart drops to my stomach as I’ve said goodbye more times to this perfect man than he should ever hear in his lifetime. Opening my purse, I dig through it to find a pen and scribble down a message.

  Colby,

  Last night was unforgettable and I know without a doubt the best goodbye in the world. I left it all in that moment. The pain I’ve been harboring, the guilt I’ve felt for placing a million miles between us, and the regret for choosing music over you…I let it all go. I had to because it’s been eating me alive for a while now. I’m sorry for it all, but mostly I’m sorry for leaving you, again. I’m not asking you to wait, but once my tour is over, I’m telling my manager and label that I need a break. I lost sight of the things that mattered to me most, and I lost myself in California. Please know that as soon as I can, I’m coming home and I’ll spend eternity trying to make up for what I’ve done. I loved you since the first moment I saw you on the street corner. I’ll be back to make this right, and I hope you’ll leave the light on for me.

  Your Sunshine,

  H

  Laying the note on the counter, I walk towards the front door and away from the man of my dreams for the second time. At least he has an option now. He knows how I feel and that I’m sorry. It’s up to him to decide what to make of it.

  “ARE YOU SURE you have to leave, honey?” Mom asks as I towel dry my hair.

  “I’m sure. I’ve got to wrap up some stuff in LA, but I’m coming home after that. I was hoping I could stay here for a while until I find a house.”