A Graceful Mess Read online

  “It appears she isn’t involved in anything scandalous, especially nothing illegal that would hinder your campaign. But our office will continue to trail her until you tell us otherwise. At that time we will close the assignment and go our separate ways.” He nods, but doesn’t talk. I notice his foot is bouncing up and down. After taking a few psychology classes, I know that’s a sign he is either worried or impatient. Honestly, I feel nervous sitting across from the guy whose daughter I just fucked and then ditched.

  “That all sounds good, Parker. It’s okay if I address you as Parker, right?”

  “Yes, sir. Of course it is.” He scoots to the edge of the couch, then opens his mouth, but quickly shuts it. I count the seconds of silence lingering between us with every thump of my heart. Since I can remember, I have always worked out; the gym is like my second home. To say I am scared would make me sound like a pussy, but this guy is slightly intimidating. It’s like I am sitting across from Al Capone or some shit. I feel like a mob of built, bald guys wearing suits is going to knock down my door at any moment. He opens his mouth to speak, causing my imagination to put the brakes on the mafia thriller playing in my mind.

  “Since we are going to be working together, let’s be honest with each other.”

  My jaw clenches shut and I can feel my forearm flexing from the tight ball my fist is in. What do we have to be honest about? Oh, I fucked your daughter two weeks ago. But how in the world could he possibly know that? Through gritted teeth I say, “Porter & Sons is built on honesty, sir.”

  “Good. So I am sure you are wondering how I got into this mess. Am I right?”

  Shit.

  I know how he did it. I read the entire file front to back, but I know he is going to tell me just the same.

  “Mr. Jacobs that is none of my business, you hired me to track Miss Clearwater. I understand the importance of the matter and how grave it is to keep her adoption a secret so it does not cause any problems with your campaign…”

  “Impressive. You did do your homework. I am happy to see you know what the hell you’re getting into, but let me make myself clear, son. No one – and I mean no one – other than you, your father, and myself know about this. Grace’s mother is dead. She died while giving birth when she was sixteen years old. I was seventeen and about to graduate high school with a full ride to college. What the hell does a single seventeen-year-old boy do with a child? I made the best decision I knew how to make at the time, and I don’t regret it. I love my wife and little girl more than anything in this world. Now if that makes me a coward for hiding Grace, then so be it. That is a personal demon I will have to deal with until the day I die, but I will be damned if a past I tried so hard for years to hide, comes out now. These next few months are the most important months of my life, Parker. You have one job and that is to keep her hidden and fly under the radar while doing it. I will win, and I will have a seat in Congress.”

  I nod.

  How do you respond to this kind of heartfelt admission? I want to punch the bastard in the face. Not only is he aware that he is lying to the public to get elected, but he doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong, and to top it off he is married and has another daughter. Doesn’t he want her to know she has a sister? Not to mention his poor, fucking wife doesn’t even know who she is married to.

  I take a deep breath and stand up. “All right, well I think we are good to go for now.” I reach into my top drawer and grab a cream business card. “Here is my card. It has my cell phone listed. Feel free to call me if needed, but I will be in touch. Our standard practice will include following Miss Clearwater, and if there is anything alarming or something I feel will out you, I will contact you immediately. If not, let’s plan on scheduling another meeting in a few weeks. You can set up a time with Andrea, our receptionist. Do you have any other questions?”

  “No, no questions.” He stands and casually puts his hands in his pockets. “Parker, I have seen her. You aren’t the first investigator who I have had follow her. I’ve had her tracked previously. I know she is beautiful. She looks just like her mother. Sophia was a dancer –ballet. Grace used to live in Maine; the first person to track her followed her there and watched her and her family for years. She took dance lessons too. Trust me, there were times I wanted to fly there and bring her back with me, but what was I supposed to do? Interrupt her life, tell her I’m her biological father, and whisk her away with me? I dropped her off at a Catholic Orphanage, for heaven’s sake. She was adopted into a great family, and here I was this newlywed with a knocked-up wife about to start campaigning. The point is she gets her beauty from her mother, and if I knew anything about Sophia it was her desire and will to love. She loved me, and I loved her so deeply. I’ve spent countless nights on my knees praying, and begging for her to forgive me for what I did, but the message in all of this is to stay clear of Grace. Follow her, but keep her at a distance. I promise you, if you get too close you will get burned. I will make sure of that.”

  No words come out of my mouth as I watch him turn on his heels and walk away, leaving me speechless.

  Did Legislator Mark Jacobs just threaten me?

  Even with the lingering threats of her father, I haven’t been able to get her off of my mind for the past week. Following and keeping her at a distance is one thing, but hearing her, looking into those blue eyes in person is another. I know I don’t know much about her, other than what I’ve read from her background check, nothing she willingly told me, but this girl hasn’t left my mind. That alone means something to me, even if we are more or less complete strangers. Fumbling with my phone, I dial her number knowing I shouldn’t. The temptation is there and my willpower fades fast.

  Ring, ring, ring.

  “Hello?” she says as she picks up the phone. Her timid voice reminds me she doesn’t know it’s me that is calling.

  “Hey, sweetheart, is that you?”

  Epic fail.

  Of course it’s her; I called her. I hope she doesn’t notice my cowardly approach.

  “Who is this?”

  “Parker.” A few moments of deathly silence pass.

  “Parker, Parker?”

  “The one and only.” Oh God, now I sound lame. What am I, in high school? For some reason she makes me feel like a little kid again, and she is my first real crush.

  “Yeah, Grace, it’s me. How are you?”

  “Umm, I’m fine. Just laying out. How about you?” Her voice sounds wary. Maybe she isn’t into me. Maybe that night was just a fuck, simple and to the point with no strings attached. She doesn’t seem like the type, but what do I know? She could have me fooled and be a player herself.

  “Not much just left the gym. I was going to see if you wanted to hang out. Grab some ice cream…”

  She laughs and the sweet sound makes me grin from ear to fucking ear. “You had me at ice cream. Can you pick me up? Do you even remember where I live?”

  “Yeah, I remember. I couldn’t forget if I tried.”

  About an hour after we hang up, I pull up to her apartment building. She comes out wearing a little, strapless sundress, with her bathing suit on underneath. My mouth waters just thinking about what’s under the bathing suit. We spend the next few hours sipping on milkshakes at the park, laughing and acting carefree. It feels natural. It feels good, and for a while it fills my fix. Not only is she my new case, but she is now my addiction. As hard as I try to fight it, her face is the only thing I see when I close my eyes. I know it sounds stupid, maybe even a little bizarre, but there is something about this woman that makes me feel like a pussy-whipped, little bitch. I want to be around her, I want to hear the sweet sound of her laughter, and I want to do it when I’m not trailing her. Savoring today is like looking out at the beach on your last day of vacation. You don’t want to leave, but you know you have to. It’s like what I know I want isn’t a possibility. No matter how hard it is to keep her at a safe distance, I have to push down these feelings and bury them. Like in a fucking hurry.


  The persistent sound of buzzing reminds me of a field full of wildflowers with tons of bees swarming around them in a dire attempt to collect their honey. I wish I was in an open field, lying on a hammock, enjoying a good book, but I’m not, and the buzzing is coming from my purse. The sound of it rattling the items inside as someone calls over and over makes me shake my head. I feel guilty, but knowing the reason behind the call I get off of the couch and walk over to my purse that is sitting on our dining room table. The caller ID reads “Mom” and my suspicions are confirmed.

  “Hello?” I try to sound cheerful and less annoyed than I really am.

  “Happy birthday! Everybody, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to our little Gracie, happy birthday to you!” My mother’s voice echoes from the receiver that is held against my ear. Her singing is mediocre, but it’s the thought that counts.

  “Hey Mom, thank you. I appreciate you calling. How are things?”

  “Well, you know, same thing, different day. Your father had to talk me out of driving over and seeing you. I know you hate our unannounced visits, but we want to see you. We don’t see you enough these days, Gracie, and we didn’t even get to throw you a graduation party.” I can tell by her voice she is sulking. She has mastered the art, and is laying it on heavy now. I can’t count the times I told her and my father that a party wasn’t necessary. Why throw a huge graduation party, when I am going back for another three years? It is pointless and a waste of money, if you ask me. Which is exactly what I told them.

  “Mom, please don’t throw a party. I told you when I graduate law school, you have free rein to throw one then, but not now, please.” Pleading is my only way out of this one. Two can play her little game.

  “I know. I just miss you. Let’s do dinner. Dad is busy with the twins and their sports these days, and I just miss my little girl.”

  “I’m not so little anymore; after all, I am turning twenty-three today.”

  “That’s my point. It’s your birthday. Let’s go out. You can even bring Maci. Let’s grab some lunch, get pedicures…”

  Maci isn’t even home. The last few weeks she has been with Ramsey every waking minute. I have to admit at first I thought he was a loser, but he is actually running a pretty legit business. He and Carson have come over to our apartment a handful of times and hung out. Carson isn’t half bad either, but I can tell he wants more. Unfortunately, he was never in the running for more. He is strictly in the friend zone; whether he realizes it yet or not is another thing. Now his brother, on the other hand, well, Parker made quite an impression on me.

  “Okay, that sounds good. I’ll call Maci and invite her. Give me an hour.”

  “Sounds like a date, honey. Meet me at Bailey’s Bakery and we can all ride together from there.”

  “K.”

  “Love you, baby. I can’t wait to see you.” I disconnect the line in a hurry.

  “Why are you walking so funny?” I ask Maci as soon as I see her. Maci takes in a gulp of air; her face looks pained.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” She notices my confusion and shakes her head as we approach the doors of the little bakery where we are meeting my mother. “Ramsey likes it rough and a little anal here and there. In return, I get a little sore.”

  “That is absolutely disgusting. You’re a slut!” We laugh as we walk into the store and see my mother sitting at a small booth waving her hands in the air. As we approach Maci puts on the charm.

  “Oh, Karen, it’s so nice to see you! Look at you looking ten shades of gorgeous. I bet Mr. Clearwater can’t keep his hands off of you.”

  My mom’s cheeks redden, and then her arms rise as she reaches to hug my annoyingly sweet friend.

  “Well, sit down, ladies, and tell me what’s been going on.”

  We spend the next forty-five minutes telling her all about finals and the last few weeks of classes and then Maci opens her big mouth.

  “Karen, I think our little Gracie met someone!” she squeals.

  My foot connects with her shin under the table, as I give her the meanest look I can muster. A grin spreads across my mom’s face and I know it’s too late. She heard her loud and clear, and now I have some explaining to do.

  Lovely.

  “It was nothing. We met one night at the bar…we met at a barbeque. Yeah, just a bunch of friends hanging out, an end of the year thing.” My shoulders shrug like it’s no big deal.

  “You sure have spread your wings. I think college has really helped you, honey. Your father is going to be pleasantly surprised when I tell him the good news. Now about this guy, who is he? What does he do? Did he kiss you?”

  The never ending series of questions continues for what feels like another ten minutes. Finally Maci interrupts my mom’s debriefing.

  “Karen, I hate to cut our lunch short, but we have a long night ahead of us. We have dates, and we should really be getting back to the apartment to get ready.”

  “But I thought we were going to get pedicures.”

  And the sulking commences.

  “Would you mind rescheduling?”

  My mom sips on her coffee in silence. Her face looks like her dog was just run over and left to die on the side of the road. No exaggeration.

  “You know how much we love hanging out with you, but… Carson, well like I said he’s a keeper and I don’t want Grace missing out on such a good guy.” Her ears perk up. She now has a name to tie the description to. I know Maci is just leading her on, but it seems to be working so I allow her to continue knowing darn well I would never go on a date with Carson.

  “It’s a double date. I bet you and Joseph used to go on those when you were younger.” Mom smiles and for a brief moment I feel guilty once again.

  “Okay, you’re right. Go on, get out of here, and have fun. Be careful and use protection. We don’t need any other mishaps happening, do we, Grace?” The bile in my stomach rises and burns my esophagus. If one more person brings up the incident, I swear I am going to go crazy like that weird girl in the gym at her high school prom that killed everyone with her mind.

  “Mom, please stop. You’re ruining my birthday.” Getting up I march towards the exit and leave the bakery. Turning around I can see that no one followed me out. My mom and Maci are giving their goodbye hugs.

  Ten…nine…eight…

  A hand grabs my shoulder causing me to spin around. I flinch, unsure who it is. I haven’t been scared in a long time, but with all the sudden talk about him and the incident lately, it is my body’s automatic reaction.

  “Whoa, don’t be scared. It’s just me.” When Grace turns around she looks like she is about to cry or scream.

  “Parker?”

  “Fancy meeting you here...” I try to lighten the mood, but fail miserably by the look on her face. “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Honestly, I’m not right now, but I will be.” She frowns and I can tell she is upset about something. Her face looks full of sorrow and her eyes are red like she has been crying or is about to cry at any moment.

  “Where are you heading? You stormed out of there pretty fast.”

  Way to play it cool; now you sound like a stalker.

  “I mean, I was getting some coffee at that kiosk,” I point to a little stand. “And I saw you heading for the exit. You seemed like you were in a hurry.”

  “I am.”

  “Okay, well…” I look around nervously.

  Her voice catches as she mumbles, “Do you want to get out of here, Parker? I really need to, like, fast.”

  What kind of question is that? Hell yeah, I want to get out of here and get you out of that cute, little, coral sundress thingy.

  “Yeah, no problem. I parked right there.” I point to my truck that is parked on the other side of the street, where I was sitting moments before, tailing her, until I got thirsty and decided to grab a coffee. We cross the street and I open the passenger side door, helping her climb in before walking around and getting in the driver’s seat. My engin
e comes to life as we both look over to the entrance of the café she was at. Maci and an older lady rush out. Their heads look left to right down the sidewalk as my foot hits the gas causing black smoke to cloud the air behind us.

  “You’re polluting the air.”

  “That’s a diesel for you, baby. It’s a man’s truck.” I turn my head to the side and wink before asking, “So, where to, sweetheart?”

  “Anywhere. Just away from them. Please, Parker.”

  The way my name sounds coming from her mouth makes me remember how it sounded as she screamed it a few weeks ago as she rode my stiff cock. I clear my throat and shake my head desperately trying to get the image out of my head before I get rock hard and have to pull over.

  “Will it weird you out if I take you to my place?” I don’t know why I offer for her to come home with me. It is clear she is in no state of mind to be hanging out. She probably needs to go home and rest and be alone. Hell, I don’t know. I’m sure she’ll say no anyways, but it is so quiet and peaceful at my place, which is probably what she needs right now, so I turn my head and shrug my shoulder. Her eyes widen like she is a kid in a candy shop full of her favorite sweets.

  “Thank you, Parker, that is exactly what I need. I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

  Her face is beaming. I can see her bite her bottom lip from the corner of my eye, and then I feel her hand. She lays it on my thigh and squeezes. The gesture is so innocent, but considering what’s happened between us before and these feelings I have been harboring ever since, I take it as a more intimate act than I know it actually is. The words “I know she is easy on the eyes, son, but don’t let it get to you, and make sure you’re thinking with the right head on this one” repeat in my head. Old Pops was right on. I should have stayed clear of Grace Clearwater when I had the chance at the bar, but she sucked me in with her beauty and pure innocence that radiates off of her. I was spellbound as soon as her fingers touched me, but the boundary has already been crossed, so one more time won’t hurt, right? I have to change the subject before my brain shuts off and I move her hand over slightly and rest it on my dick. If I was truly thinking like a man I wouldn’t hesitate. Hell, if it was any other female, I wouldn’t hesitate.