In the Lyrics Page 10

  “Shit, Hensley. That’s really what you think? What do I have to do to prove it? I want you. I’ve wanted you since day one. Since I saw you on that damn corner, I’ve wanted you. I go to bed aching for your touch and wake up dying for you to quench my thirst. Do you ever wonder why I stare at you all the time? I’m taking you in, drinking you up.”

  “I like you.” I choke on my words as I acknowledge how I really feel. Turning away, my cheeks redden and my palms feel clammy like I just gave a valedictory speech.

  He pulls me close and the feeling of his strong arms embracing me feels like the moment you come home from school and take your hair down and your bra off – it’s the best feeling in the world. Then he leads me to the couch, sits down, and pulls me down on top of him so I am straddling his lap. “You’re the only one I want here, sitting here, like this. It’s only you. If it takes me reminding you every five seconds how much I like you, I’ll do it. Challenge accepted.”

  Leaning forward I kiss him, but he doesn’t kiss me back. “See? You don’t want me.”

  “What I don’t want is Logan’s sloppy seconds. I want the first with you, the first of everything. Let me be your first boyfriend, first love, and the one you give yourself to for the first time. I want to be there for all of those things, all of the moments that matter. I want to be the guy holding your hand when they happen. I’ve been basically begging you to let me be him for the past two weeks, Hensley. Let me in.” He holds his hand over my heart.

  “I want it too. I’m just afraid. God, Colby, I’ve never done this. Ever. It’s all new territory for me, and I’m scared to death.”

  Cupping my face with his hand, he says, “What is it that you’re scared of?” He sounds like he’s really interested in the answer.

  “I’m scared…” I stutter. “What if I fall in love with you? What if this, us, works? Then what? I’ve built my entire life on running as fast as possible out of this town, but now what? You’re here, and I like you. By admitting that, I’m accepting that I might never leave here. I have to leave here. I have to get out.”

  It’s as if the clouds part and opera singers around the world unite in a joyous song. That’s what I’m scared of, and the truth of the matter is, it’s not just the thought of being in like with someone, it’s the thought of having someone or something here. He’s a reason I’d stay. Even when I’ve been dreaming of fleeing, he’s my reason for staying and it makes me feel like vomiting.

  “There’s nothing to be scared of, Sunshine. Do you know why?”

  I shake my head.

  “Because when something is mine, I own it and protect it. Hensley, I want your mind, body, and soul. Let me have it, and I promise there will be nothing to be scared of ever again. You want to sing, I want you to. You want to serve tables forever, I want you to. I will not, ever, stop you from living your dream. I just want to be a part of it.”

  Tears fill my eyelids as he speaks. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and this is all going to be a hallucination. I just yelled at him and told him I hated him, but here he is confessing his feelings for me. What did I do in this world to deserve him, this perfect man that sits before me? There comes a time in one’s life where you have to make a life changing decision. Some people choose where to attend college or whether or not to move out of state for a job, but right here, right now, choosing Colby is my life changing decision.

  “Own me, Colby,” I whisper, deciding that it’s him that I choose. He doesn’t say a word; he stands with me still in his arms. Walking towards the bathroom he opens the door with his foot and then carries me in. He hits the light switch and then sets me on the sink.

  “Brush your teeth and take a shower. I don’t want to smell Logan on you ever again. Then come sleep with me. I want to hold you in my arms all night and wake up with my Sunshine beside me.”

  The moment seems too intense for me to open my big mouth, when what I really want to do is demand him to shower too and wash that skank off of him! Refraining, I smile as he leans forward and kisses my forehead and then shuts the bathroom door behind him.

  In a frantic hurry I jump off of the counter. The sudden movement causes me to feel dizzy. I wish I didn’t take that first sip tonight, and I pray like hell I don’t have a hangover in the morning. Brushing my teeth, I strip off my clothes and take a quick shower, washing away Logan’s scent and my anger all at once. I believe Colby pushed Brittani off of him; I believe him with all I have. I just wish it was Logan who kissed me, so I could say I pushed him off me. Remorse isn’t a good feeling.

  THAT NIGHT I crawled into a man’s bed, one that I had romantic feelings for, for the first time in my life. He kissed me a few times before pulling me to his chest and holding me tightly. I think we were both a little fearful of what was happening between us. At least I know I was. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and he, well, I’m sure he’s had girlfriends. I mean, look at him. He is handsome and attractive. Where he is rugged and all man on the outside, his heart is pure and affectionate. What’s not to like?

  Colby held me tight as we talked about everything under the sun, from what his hometown is like to when he learned to play the guitar. It was oddly relaxing, and I found myself opening up to him too.

  Waking up, I glance around the room, forgetting momentarily where I am and whose arms I am in. Looking to my left, I see a sleeping Colby. He looks so peaceful, I almost don’t want to move and break this moment. But I have to pee, and my mouth tastes like someone just took a poop in it. Slowly, I lift his arm up off of my chest and slide off of the queen-size bed. He doesn’t stir. Tiptoeing to the door, I open it and quietly slide out. I feel like one of those sluts in the movies who take the walk of shame. Thank goodness it’s early; I doubt Dusty is even up. Opening his door, I get a rude awakening. Not only is he home, he has a guest with him, in his bed, on my side. My breathing increases as I hold back laughter. I’m not laughing at him per se, it’s just funny because I’ve never seen him with anyone, let alone like them enough to bring them back for the night. Go figure the night I sleep in Colby’s room, Dusty has a visitor in ours. The door creaks on its hinges and makes a loud noise. Dusty looks up from the neck he was nuzzled against.

  He slowly crawls out of bed, and much to my surprise, he is butt naked. As he bends, I get a glimpse of his full moon as he slides on a pair of pajama bottoms. He makes his way over to the doorframe where I’m standing and guides me out.

  “Shh…” he puts his finger to his lips. We softly walk down the hallway and into the kitchen.

  “Coffee?” he asks and I nod.

  Unable to hide my curiosity, I pry, “So who is he?”

  “Oh, Trevor. He’s captain of the swim and debate teams.”

  “And why is this the first time I’m hearing about your friend, correction, your good friend, Trevor?”

  “Why is this the first time I’m hearing about you and Colby? That’s right, baby girl, you weren’t in my bed when we got home and you weren’t on the sofa. That only leaves one place.” He smirks and I feel like a child who was just caught doing something by her parents.

  Stuttering, I admit, “We just slept.”

  “Uh huh. Can you get the creamer?”

  We fill our mugs with coffee and sit in our PJ’s talking about our nights. Filling Dusty in on my crazy outburst, his eyes scold me for being so hard on Colby. Mine do the same, only I scold him for not telling me about his crush on Trevor. He divulges that he’s had his eye on him for a while. I’ve been so caught up in trying to not like Colby for the past few weeks, I didn’t realize how distant I had become with Dusty. Making a silent vow to never let that happen again, I get up and kiss him on the cheek.

  “I think for the first time ever, we’re both in relationships,” I laugh at my own realization.

  Taking a sip from his mug, he clears his throat, “I think you’re right, baby girl. Just promise me you’ll give him a chance though. Give this a solid effort and don’t let your momma talk you out of it eithe
r. He likes you, you like him. It’s a match made in heaven.”

  “Oh, Lord. I didn’t even think about what she’s gonna say. I can hear her now. Ugh. My head’s starting to hurt just thinkin’ about it,” I whine.

  “Baby, your head’s hurting because you drank like a fish last night. I’m honestly surprised you even remember anything.”

  I wince. “Touché. Lesson learned on that one.”

  Colby’s voice interrupts us. “Morning, y’all.” His voice drawls closer and then I feel his arms wrap around my waist. He’s standing behind me as I sit on the stool at the counter.

  Breathing him in, I hum. “Good morning to you too.” This is the first touchy feely kind of thing he’s done like this. Oddly it feels good not to be pushing him away all the time.

  “Mornin’,” Dusty says as he grabs another mug from the cabinet and hands it to Colby. “Well, now that you’re up, I’m getting back to…my friend.”

  Giggling erupts from my lungs as Dusty does a little dance in the kitchen and then walks towards the hallway.

  “What was that about? Wait a minute, is Trevor here?”

  I turn around in my seat to face him with a stunned expression on my face. “Seriously, how do you know about Trevor?”

  “Dusty’s been talking about him for weeks now. I didn’t just meet him until recently though, and it was really brief.” He shrugs casually. Like him knowing something that I don’t know isn’t a big deal. Newsflash, it’s a huge deal to me. Poor Dusty. I’ve been focusing so much energy on not liking Colby, I’ve forgotten to focus on the most important man in my life. Well, now one of the most important. I guess I really have had Colby on the brain this whole time.

  “More coffee, Sunshine?” His voice breaks the sudden silence. I nod as he tops off my cup. “So what do you want to do today?”

  Noticing that he is only wearing his flannel pajama bottoms, I feel like I’m having a mini stroke. I can’t talk, like my mouth literally won’t move to form a word and I know if I tried, my mumbling wouldn’t even form full sentences. He is so handsome in a rugged, hardworking, manly way. Where his face is flawless, his hands are rough from working on the farm, and his body is lean and muscular. He’s the type of guy my mom warned me about. Not in the sense that he’s a bad boy biker dude or anything crazy like that, but he’s the type to steal your heart. I just hope that now that I’ve willingly given it to him, he keeps it safe and doesn’t break it.

  “Cuddle.” My answer makes him smile from ear to ear. Those darn dimples. “Seriously. Don’t make fun! I’ve always wanted to just lie in bed all day and spoon. I’ve just been waiting for the right man to come along and do it with me.” Really, I’ve been waiting for the right man to come along with a chisel in hand and knock down the wall of stone around me. But we all know he conquered that shit a long time ago.

  Wiggling his eyebrows, he says, “Oh, we can do it all right.”

  I know he is kidding, wait, is he? My eyes widen, “Oh my god, you know that’s not what I meant. Let’s just relax all day.”

  “Your wish is my command.”

  We sit, sipping on our coffee for a few more minutes. The lingering silence would normally make me uncomfortable, but for once in my life I feel content. He makes me feel like a country song, all mushy and hopeful for my own happy ending.

  WE SPEND THE rest of the day lounging in our pajamas, watching movies and eating greasy pizza. Dusty and Trevor join us, until Dusty has to get ready for his shift. Colby was scheduled off, and I decide to call in. I’d much rather be lying in his arms than serving college kids who don’t know the meaning of leaving a tip. Assholes. Sharing a few more innocent kisses, we fall into comfortableness that I can’t explain. It feels good to be in someone’s arms – in his arms.

  “Do you want to go on a date with me?” he asks from the opposite end of the couch.

  Looking puzzled, I ask, “Like right now?”

  “No, not right now, but this weekend or tomorrow…maybe right now.”

  Smiling, I nudge him with my foot. “What do you have in mind?”

  “Well, I guess if you wanted to go on a date with me right now…” he rubs his chin. “Wait, go into my room and sit for like twenty minutes. Play on your phone, practice that new riff, or something. Just stay in there, okay?”

  “Should I be scared?”

  Sitting up he grabs my hands and then pulls me up to a sitting position too. Bracing himself with one hand behind his back he puts the other over my mouth. “Shut your pretty little face. I told you there was no more being scared. Now do what I said, dammit!” He hoots at his own attempt to sound bossy. It’s not a bad look on him. What a joke – the inexperienced virgin begging for bossy?

  We untangle ourselves from the blankets, and then he walks me to his room and shuts the door, leaving me wondering what he is up to.

  Twenty minutes later he opens the door and covers my eyes. He doesn’t ask me to put on any shoes or anything so I assume we’re staying here, until he leads me out the front door. The concrete is cold under my bare feet.

  “Open,” he instructs.

  “Seriously?” I ask in shock as my eyes take in the surprise in front of me.

  “Happy first date,” grabbing my hand he walks me the few extra feet to our own personal picnic. There’s an abundance of food from leftover pizza, chips and cookies, and two Mason jar glasses that sit on his guitar case, filled to the rim with Coca-Cola. “Sit and enjoy.” He winks and for the first time in my adult life I know what it’s like to want something so bad it hurts. I want this, our relationship, to work and I’m ready to do anything in my power to make sure it does. I mean, come on, the man threw together a little homemade picnic. What else could a girl want?

  Sitting on the small blanket, he hands me my drink and then pulls his guitar from its case. “I thought we’d end the night on a good note.”

  Tears perch themselves on my eyelids. Since when did I become such a sap?

  “Will you sing with me?”

  I nod yes, when in reality I want to scream that I’d do anything he asked. The chorus to a song breaks out in my head, because yes, I have it bad.

  We sing a few of the songs that we’ve written with Dusty and then he does something I only thought happened on TV, since that’s the only place I’ve seen anything even slightly romantic.

  “Will you dance with me?”

  “You’re kidding?” I ask bemused.

  Standing up, he kicks off his shoes and reaches down and grabs my hand. “Why would I be joking about this? Look up,” he glances at the sky. “Haven’t you ever wanted to dance under the stars?”

  “I’ve wanted to do a lot of things that I haven’t.”

  Now he looks bemused. “What do you mean, Hensley? If there’s something you want out of life, take it. Life’s short, you don’t want to miss your opportunity to be happy.”

  Suddenly it feels like he is talking about something bigger. He’s always so philosophical. I feel like everything he says has a double meaning, but I don’t want to miss this opportunity, so I grab his hand. He pulls me up and places a small kiss on my knuckles.

  “What I want is to dance with my boyfriend under the stars.”

  “Boyfriend, huh?”

  Wrapping one of my hands around the nape of his neck, I joke, “Well, if you’d rather I called someone else my boyfriend, just let me know.”

  “If you called someone else your boyfriend, Sunshine, I’d have to beat his ass, and I’m more of a lover than a fighter. So, boyfriend works for me.”

  Normally the thought of a title would scare me, but strangely it doesn’t. I have to admit that at first I was a little hesitant. You can’t blame me, but it’s nearly impossible to push someone like Colby away. I can’t even pinpoint what I like about him so much, or what draws me to him. I think that’s why he has me so intrigued, because he just got me. There were no fancy gimmicks or extravagant dates he used to try and woo me. He was just Colby, charming and thoughtful. Once I
was able to admit my feelings, I was a goner, and now he’s just along for the ride.

  Moving his hands to my waist, we dance under the moonlit sky in a comfortable silence.

  IF PEOPLE IN Texas think August is hot, they’ve probably never been to Nashville. There have been heat advisories almost every day, and we’ve had to cancel three classes at Whispering Hills now. They say time flies when you’re having fun. I say time flies when you’re falling in love. And sometimes summer love turns into something more, like fall relationships. Looking back to when I got here, I never would have imagined I would be uttering those words to anyone. Don’t worry, I haven’t said them yet, but I’m on the verge. Knowing it might scare her off is the only reason I’ve kept them in for this long. Two months isn’t long enough to feel those feelings some would claim. But when you know, you know. Hensley is everything I’ve ever wanted in a girlfriend, a partner. Where she is a little rough around the edges still, I know under her hard exterior lies a heart of gold. One day soon, I plan on doing something romantic and telling her how I feel. I hope she’s ready to hear it.

  “Sunshine, please. Please…I’m actually begging you, let me drive my truck.” I bring my hands up so it looks like I am praying. Well, I am. Her car is falling apart. We might as well saddle a horse and ride it. We’d get to the university a lot faster.

  “Colby!” she screeches as she pats her hand on the steering wheel repeatedly. “You’re going to hurt her feelings. Now we’re already in here, so stop your griping and shut the door.”

  There is no arguing with Hensley Bradley. Trust me, I’ve learned that the hard way. Nodding I say, “Yes, ma’am.”

  I STILL CAN’T believe two months have already passed since I got to town. Though I admit, we sort of jumped into this relationship a little fast, we’ve been able to learn a lot about one another. Living in such close proximity will do that to a couple. Yeah, we’re sleeping together, technically, but without the sex. I’m not complaining. I want to know everything about her, the good, bad, and the ugly. There was one weekend she went home to stay at her parents’ house. She didn’t invite me to come or to even stop by and meet them. Yeah, it hurt, but I didn’t want to push her. Or make her feel obligated to introduce us. I want her to do it when she feels ready, and not just because I whined like a baby and forced her into it. Hence the reason I’m waiting to tell her how crazy I am about her.