In the Lyrics Read online

  Other than working at the farm and volunteering as a Big Brother, my life has been uneventful. There’s not much to do in a small town without a girl, and Dusty has been so wrapped up with Trevor and this new modeling gig he’s picked up. I’ve pretty much been alone, just like I assumed I would be.

  Moving the horses back into their stalls, I hit the lights, run up to the house to say goodbye to Mrs. Blair, and then we head towards my truck.

  The ride home is fairly quiet until Dusty asks, “Are you still thinking about going out there?”

  It’s been on my mind for a while now. Three months without seeing each other is a long time. But the resources just aren’t there. I know Hensley got her sign-on bonus, but she hasn’t offered to fly me out, and I would rather eat a plate full of sand than ask my girlfriend for money.

  “I mean, I’ve considered it, but how’d I get out there? My looks?” I grin. “On second thought, I am pretty handsome.”

  “Barf!” Dusty jokes.

  We’ve gotten a lot closer over the past few months. He’s all I have here, and well, he doesn’t have many close friends either. Other than Trevor, who’s always around. It’s nice because it gives me time to sulk without anyone noticing it. While they’re out to dinner or the movies, I sit in my room and think. I wonder what she’s doing, if she’s happy, if she misses me as much as I miss her. I know it isn’t healthy, but what else is there to do?

  “Change of subject. Trevor and I are going bowling tonight if you wanted to join us.”

  “I’m good. Thanks for the invite, but I think I’m going to tinker around the apartment. Maybe pick up my guitar or something.”

  Turning on my signal, I switch lanes.

  “That’s a bald-faced lie. We both know damn well you haven’t played since she left. Now I’m not asking. I’m telling you you’re coming bowling with us. You need some fresh air and a little fun in your life”

  He’s right. I haven’t done anything since she left. I’ve been too lonely and have been keeping myself hidden having a pity party for one. I did confide in Dusty about it a few weeks ago. I had to get it off my chest and talk to someone.

  He took it surprisingly well, but he was pissed that I turned down my dream to be with Hensley. I remember him rubbing his face and telling me how bad I have it for her. The truth is apparent. I do have it bad, but the worst part is me having it bad and being alone. It’s like I’m loving her from afar now, and she doesn’t even know what I did to keep us together. She ripped us apart, not knowing.

  “Okay, dude. I’ll come,” I surrender knowing that me sitting alone in our apartment sulking isn’t going to bring her home.

  A few hours later, Dusty is dragging me practically kicking and screaming from the apartment. I know I agreed to go, but agreeing to do something and actually doing it are two very different things. It’s not that I like sitting, alone, in the apartment. It’s just that I feel like my other half is missing. Why go out and do things that we used to do together? What’s the point in revisiting those places and reminding myself that she’s not here to experience them with anymore?

  “I’ll drive. You drink.” He knows I don’t drink. He doesn’t know why, but he’s aware that drinking isn’t something I do.

  “I’m good. You can still drive though. We don’t have to drink to have a good time,” I say, and then he shrugs his shoulders before he leans down and climbs into the driver’s side seat. We pick up Trevor and then head towards the town’s bowling alley. There’s no parking when we get there so we have to park a couple of blocks away and then walk. Who would have thought it was so cool to go bowling on a Saturday night these days?

  Walking into the alley, there are clusters of college kids.

  “Hi, Colby.” A girl from my accounting class waves at me.

  Nodding my head, we walk by her and her friends to the counter.

  “Mr. Popular has made his presence,” Dusty laughs and then orders his and Trevor’s shoes.

  “Shut up, dude. I have a class with her, that’s all.”

  Seriousness claims him. “Look, you don’t have to explain to me. Just because you’re dating my bestie doesn’t mean that you’re not still a man. Just as long as you remember to look and not touch, we’ll be A-Okay.”

  Shaking my head, I order my shoes and pay the cashier for my game.

  A few strikes and spares later, Dusty smirks as he bowls a near perfect game. My score should make a grown man hide from embarrassment, but I told him I wasn’t any good.

  “It’s all good. So bowling isn’t your thing, who gives a shit?” Trevor smiles. His attempt at cheering me up doesn’t work.

  “I barely got over a hundred.” Pouting, I sit on the corner of a chair and take off the ass smelling shoes they made us rent. “I’m glad you had so much fun, Dusty.”

  Smirking, he high-fives Trevor and then plants a small kiss on his lips.

  “Well, if you’ll looky there at you two love birds,” the sound of a familiar voice says from behind me. Brittani’s standing with her clique, holding a beer.

  Standing up, I turn and face her, my scowl apparent as I scold her, “Not tonight, Brittani. It’s late and you’re drunk. You should probably get going home, don’t ya think?”

  Rolling her eyes like the immature girl she is, Dusty stares holes into her bleached blonde head.

  “I think it’s time for us to go anyways.” Grabbing my cell phone off of the table, it rings in my hand. Hensley’s name appears on the screen in bright letters and for a split second I feel pure joy.

  “It’s Hensley, D. Do you mind returning my shoes and I’ll meet ya at the car?”

  He nods, and I hand him my bowling shoes and slide the answer button. “Hey, how’s my girl?”

  Dusty and Trevor walk off, followed by Brittani’s friends, leaving her and me alone.

  Holding the phone to my ear, I can barely hear what Hensley’s saying. The music from the speakers blaring overhead doesn’t help.

  “What are you doing?” I shout into the receiver. Bits and pieces of a mumbled sentence leave me guessing what she is saying as my eyes stare at Brittani’s lips, trying to make out what she is whispering. I realize it’s “Just hang up.”

  “Hensley? Are you there? You keep going out. I love you.” Though I make sure to drive that point home, Brittani ignores my one-sided conversation with Hensley and places her hand on my chest. Standing directly in front of me, our faces are so close I can smell the bubblegum and booze oozing from her mouth.

  Rushing off the phone, I bark, “I have to go.”

  Hitting the end-call button, I gently push Brittani away from me. “I have a girlfriend who I love. We both know that, so please leave me alone. Desperation isn’t cute.”

  “Do you think I give a shit about Hensley or your relationship with her? Wait, don’t even answer that, because I don’t. There are two facts I do know for certain though.”

  Creasing my forehead, I ask with an irritated tone, “Which are?”

  “She’s not here, and I am.”

  “And on that note, I’m going home. Be careful, and for the love of God, do not drive drunk. The next time I see you, I’d rather it not be at your funeral.” Picking up my sweatshirt from the back of a chair, I start to walk away.

  Brittani’s small, soft hand grips my forearm and stops me in my tracks. It’s the first time in months a woman other than my Sunshine has touched me. I don’t push Brittani’s hand away, and for some unknown reason I stop and stare at her. Maybe it’s because I’ve been super lonely or maybe it’s because her thumb is rubbing small circles on my skin, the way Hensley used to do. Either way, my shoes stay planted in the same spot on the checkered carpet.

  “The next time I see you, I want to be lying underneath you.”

  Her statement makes me gulp as my pulse picks up. Dusty’s words ring in my head, “Look, but don’t touch.” I wouldn’t ever touch Brittani in any sexual way, but dammit, I am a man.

  What the hell?


  Leaning down so my mouth is level with her ear, I whisper, “The only thing that’s going to be lying underneath me is my mattress.” And then I turn and walk away wondering why she continues to throw herself at me like some cheap tramp.

  This is like the third time that I’ve run into Brittani. I don’t know if it’s fate’s way of telling me I need to haul ass out of town and go see my girl, or if it’s fate’s way of telling me that I need to move on. How can I do that when I’m still so deeply in love?

  “What did she want this time?” Dusty pries as I walk out of the bowling alley.

  “Me. Like always.”

  Trevor huffs, “Will she ever get the hint that you’re taken?”

  “I don’t know, bro. But what I do know is I need to see my girl. Dusty, do you think I can borrow some money?” I ask fully aware that he busts his ass at the restaurant just to make ends meet. But hopefully with my savings and his put together it’ll be enough to go see her. I need to see her, because as much as I love her, I’m lonely here without her and I don’t want to be a sorry excuse for a man and do something I’ll regret one day.

  “BABE, IS THIS a joke?” I ask as I hold my cell phone up to my ear in shock.

  Colby laughs on the other end, “No, it’s not a joke. I’m at the airport. You can either come pick me up or I’ll take a cab to your place.”

  I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

  “I’ll come there,” I screech while trying to slide on my shoes and hold my phone up at the same time. “Give me like thirty minutes. Traffic is a bitch at this hour.”

  Disconnecting the line, I shove my cell phone into my back pocket and head out the door. I have a car, or rather the label has a car. They just let me use it. Climbing in, I buckle my seat belt and head towards the highway.

  A short while later, I’m pulling up to the curb in the arrivals lane. Putting the car into park, I all but run inside to find my man. Dialing his number in my phone, I stand, out of breath and as excited as a girl can be.

  “Sunshine?” a male voice calls out from behind me.

  Turning around, my eyes widen. “Colby!” I scream and jump into his arms. We stagger a little bit before he gets his footing planted firmly, and then he holds me more tightly than he’s ever held me before. His arms feel like home wrapped around my body.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” I start to kiss him, his mouth, his cheeks, and his neck.

  “Whoa…I’ve missed you too. You have no idea how much.”

  People stop and stare as they pass us, muttering things like, “Young love,” and “How sweet,” as they walk by us.

  Kissing Colby one last time, I climb out of his arms and take his hand in mine. Holding it tightly, I don’t ever want to let go.

  “How? When? Why?” I ramble.

  “Dusty helped. I decided I needed to see you last night, because you’re my Sunshine and you know how much I hate the darkness.”

  If it were possible to fall head over heels as I’m standing in place, that’s what would be happening to me at this very moment. He is amazing – more than amazing, really. He’s everything and he’s mine and he’s here with me.

  Carrying his backpack, we walk hand in hand back to my car.

  “This is your ride?” he asks as we get closer to the black Jaguar.

  “Yes,” I laugh. “Why?”

  He walks closer to the car and opens his hand, running his palm along the spoiler.

  “It’s nice.”

  Biting my lip, I try to play it off like I know what I’m talking about, when in reality, I know nothing about cars. “Yes, it is. It’s also my label’s, so be gentle,” I tease.

  We get into the car and drive out of the airport. Our hands touch the entire ride, unless I’m pointing at places as I tell him a little bit about town. I don’t know much, other than what others have told me, but it’s pretty cool to see some of these famous sights. Pulling into my parking spot, I put the car in park, and turn off the engine. Turning to face Colby, I say, “I still can’t believe you’re here. I’m scared if I blink, you’ll be gone.”

  “Don’t be scared. I’ll be here for two days. Let’s make them count and live in the moment, okay?”

  Whispering, “Okay,” we get out of the car and head inside.

  As soon as his bag hits the floor, I attack him like a hungry animal. I’ve missed his touch so much. I want to feel him all over me, surrounding me with his delicious smell. My lips part his, and he tastes of watermelon gum.

  “I love you,” I hum through panted breaths. “I need you, babe. I need you inside me. Show me that this is real, that you’re here, and I’m not dreaming.”

  “You’re not dreaming, and I love you too.”

  Picking me up, he carries me into my bedroom and makes love to me. It’s as slow and romantic as it was our very first time. His hands glide over my body like I’m a breakable porcelain doll, and his lips gently roam my naked body. I’ve missed this…I’ve missed him.

  When I wake up, my sore legs are an indication this wasn’t a dream – that and the fact that this perfect man is still lying next to me. Quietly, I get up and walk into the kitchen. My pants are on the living room floor, just where I took them off.

  Sliding my cell phone out of my pocket, I email Emiko.

  Hey! Can you please tell Michael and Robert that I have a surprise guest and I won’t be at the studio this weekend? Thanks!

  Hitting send, I decide to whip up some pancakes. There’s no other way I know to celebrate than with my famous concoction. I sure hope he’s hungry when he gets up.

  AFTER OUR MID-DAY lunch of pancakes and pink lemonade, Colby wants to see LA. Climbing back into the car, we drive around sightseeing. He keeps snapping pictures of me with his cell phone, and has random strangers take photos of us standing in front of buildings.

  “It’s crazy knowing how many singers have walked these same streets,” he exclaims.

  “I know, right? It’s weird to think about it and realize they had our same ambitions.”

  Changing the subject, I ask him how Dusty is and the farm. He tells me that things are going well with both and that the only thing that has changed is my presence.

  “I don’t want to talk about home anymore. I don’t really want to talk at all…but I didn’t come here just to fuck you all day. So let’s do something fun. Let’s make this trip worth it and let’s do something that we’ll remember. Let’s get matching tattoos!” he yells in excitement.

  I’ve never once thought about marking my body permanently before, but if that’s what he wants to do, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for him, to see him as happy as he is right now.

  We walk back to the car, and type in places to get tattoos in the search engine on my phone. Within seconds we’re staring at a list of possible places. Closing his eyes, he puts his finger on the screen and picks one.

  “That’s it.”

  “Okay.” I give him a thumbs up and put the car into drive.

  A short drive later and we arrive at a small tattoo studio in a strip mall. My palms are sweaty as I exit the car, but I know with Colby by my side I can do this. I’ve never been fond of needles, but who is? Walking through the door, we’re greeted by loud music and a handful of men with colors as bright as the sky on their arms.

  “You got an appointment?” one of them asks.

  “No…sir,” I stutter.

  “No, we don’t, but we’re interested in two tattoos,” Colby tells the bald guy who looks like he just got out of the penitentiary.

  He seems to have gotten through to him, as he fumbles in a drawer and hands us some papers. After completing the forms and making copies of our IDs, he gestures us into a small room towards the back of the building. Preparing his workstation only takes moments as the guy explains he’s been doing this for over fifteen years. Colby goes first and doesn’t flinch as the gun pierces his skin. Afterwards the bald guy excuses himself to grab a quick smoke break.

  “Let me see.”

/>   Raising the hem of the side of his shirt, he shows me the treble clef that’s etched in his skin. It looks beautiful. Just like he said it would. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. It’s a silent gesture, but it means he understands how nervous I really am.

  “All right, are you ready?” the bald man says as he walks back into the room.

  Nodding my head, I twist my hair up into a high bun and lay down on the table.

  As soon as the buzzing starts up, my stomach’s little butterflies start to swarm again.

  “It’s okay, Sunshine. I’m right here. We’re doin’ this together and next time you miss me, just touch your tattoo, and you’ll remember this moment and how much I love you.”

  His words help ease my fears, but do nothing to dull the pain. The needles sting as they run back and forth on the skin behind my ear.

  After it’s done, he sprays some sort of ointment on it and wipes off the excess ink with a paper towel. Standing up, I walk over to a long mirror on the wall. Tilting my head slightly, the same tattoo that appears on Colby’s side appears behind my left ear. It looks just as beautiful as his does, and I’m really happy he wanted to do this. We share yet again another first.

  It’s dark outside when we leave the tattoo shop, but instead of going home, Colby wants to see the studio. I don’t want to deny him, but I did tell Emiko I wouldn’t be in. If Michael and Robert are there, I don’t want it to dredge up negative feelings for Colby. Not that I think he would be upset, but he might harbor anger towards them, since they chose me instead of him.

  “Are you sure, babe? It’s nothing fancy, just some equipment and a sound booth.”

  He turns his head and looks at me in shock.

  “Just some equipment? Since when has it been just some equipment? You’ve been dreaming of this your whole life. I want to see where the magic happens. I want to see where you spend your days. I’m not going to be here long, ya know. Just tomorrow, so show me what you do, Sunshine.”

  Leaning over the armrest in the car, I kiss him on the cheek and then start the car.